I think people disagree mainly for two reasons: 1. rational objection 2. bad feelings For rational objection we have a great system (logic) in place to wor

I think people disagree mainly for two reasons: 1. rational objection 2. bad feelings For rational objection we have a great system (logic) in place to work it out and come to a conclusion. This can be very hard and take a lot of time, but it works--as long as you stick to the path of rational arguments and objective truth. So let's take a look at the feelings side of things. Feelings are always true and subjective. They are inherently irrational and often steer us towards dumb actions we regret later. They interfere with rationality and usually distort arguments. My impression is that people get into emotional discussions and become mean in order to feel better about themselves by a) expressing bad feelings caused by a statement b) abreacting bad feelings rooted in something else (merely triggered by a statement) c) getting positive attention from others (gain value) In order to add weight to their statement, people usually pretend to object on rational grounds. Flamewars can be fun, but from a rational perspective, they are a waste of time. Looking at the underlying motivation can help to clarify a messy discussion. The Harvard Negotiation Project provides an excellent framework for analyzing and working what's behind the surface. In the long run, I think we need forms to express bad feelings without attacking the other or pretending to provide a rational argument. Forms to say something like: "That hurt (and I don't even know why) and I'm afraid you're right". This is really hard. The natural reaction would be to feel attacked and fight back. It also requires trust. Being open about wounds increases vulnerability and can only work with people you consider to have good intentions in the first place.