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"But what happens if your new girlfriend has a much darker and more sinister secret than having slept around a bit?" And what, exactly, is wrong with "having s

"But what happens if your new girlfriend has a much darker and more sinister secret than having slept around a bit?" And what, exactly, is wrong with "having slept around a bit?"

wumbolad 9y ago
Despite all the progressive bullshit about how sleeping around is totally okay, some people still don't want to date a slut or a man-whore. Don't be so offended.
- balfirevic 9y ago
  You're mixing up personal dating preferences with something being "not okay". For example, I don't want to date highly religious people, but if I called their faith "a dark and sinister secret" people would rightly say I'm being a jerk.
- Sleeep 9y ago
  Being a slut or a man-whore is not the same thing as "sleeping around a bit." If you're dating someone whose in their 30s, there's a good chance they've had a few sex partners, that doesn't mean they are slut, or "give it away for free," or whatever. They may even have been raped. Sleeping around is perfectly ok on a personal level. Filtering your own sex partners by the criteria you choose is also perfectly ok. Both are taking personal control of your own sexuality even though they may seem conflicting to you. (Personally I strongly prefer someone whose sexually experienced, but that's just my preference.)
  - nojvek 9y ago
    Some people have usually 5-10 partners by the time they are 30. Some people have 50+. Some enjoy casual sex like eating at a new restaurant. Some enjoy long lasting relationships. I dated girls who had a lot of casual sex. I thought that’s what I wanted. I hated it. They saw sex and love as different things. I didn’t. I’m with someone who’s only been in couple of long relationships before and I love it. It’s just personal preference.
DougN7 9y ago
Much higher chance of STDs. I was recently reading something like 1 in 5 Americans has at least one. No thanks.
greenshackle2 9y ago
Higher risk of STDs, higher risk of cheating. There's nothing morally wrong with sleeping around if that's your deal, doesn't mean I have to want to date people who sleep around. (I happen not to mind because i) I have a high sex drive, people who've slept around usually do too so we're a good match, and ii) I'm not very jealous, I'd consider an open relationship with the right person. But there are legitimate reasons to worry about it.)
duxup 9y ago
I think his comment is just contrasting the actual secret with more trivial things people worry about. If they should or should not worry about that last bit really isn't what he is getting at.
ShabbosGoy 9y ago
Nothing wrong with it per se. Personally, I use # of sexual partners as a signal for how successful the relationship will be. It's an indicator of how stable the person is in their romantic relationships. Of course there are counterexamples, i.e. a virgin who ends up a terrible partner and a promiscuous person who ends up being the love of my life.
erikb 9y ago
Have you heard the term "sexually transmitted desease"?

"But what happens if your new girlfriend has a much darker and more sinister secret than having slept around a bit?" And what, exactly, is wrong with "having slept around a bit?"

wumbolad 9y ago

Despite all the progressive bullshit about how sleeping around is totally okay, some people still don't want to date a slut or a man-whore. Don't be so offended.

balfirevic 9y ago
You're mixing up personal dating preferences with something being "not okay". For example, I don't want to date highly religious people, but if I called their faith "a dark and sinister secret" people would rightly say I'm being a jerk.
Sleeep 9y ago
Being a slut or a man-whore is not the same thing as "sleeping around a bit." If you're dating someone whose in their 30s, there's a good chance they've had a few sex partners, that doesn't mean they are slut, or "give it away for free," or whatever. They may even have been raped. Sleeping around is perfectly ok on a personal level. Filtering your own sex partners by the criteria you choose is also perfectly ok. Both are taking personal control of your own sexuality even though they may seem conflicting to you. (Personally I strongly prefer someone whose sexually experienced, but that's just my preference.)
- nojvek 9y ago
  Some people have usually 5-10 partners by the time they are 30. Some people have 50+. Some enjoy casual sex like eating at a new restaurant. Some enjoy long lasting relationships. I dated girls who had a lot of casual sex. I thought that’s what I wanted. I hated it. They saw sex and love as different things. I didn’t. I’m with someone who’s only been in couple of long relationships before and I love it. It’s just personal preference.

DougN7 9y ago

Much higher chance of STDs. I was recently reading something like 1 in 5 Americans has at least one. No thanks.

greenshackle2 9y ago

Higher risk of STDs, higher risk of cheating. There's nothing morally wrong with sleeping around if that's your deal, doesn't mean I have to want to date people who sleep around. (I happen not to mind because i) I have a high sex drive, people who've slept around usually do too so we're a good match, and ii) I'm not very jealous, I'd consider an open relationship with the right person. But there are legitimate reasons to worry about it.)

duxup 9y ago

I think his comment is just contrasting the actual secret with more trivial things people worry about. If they should or should not worry about that last bit really isn't what he is getting at.

ShabbosGoy 9y ago

Nothing wrong with it per se. Personally, I use # of sexual partners as a signal for how successful the relationship will be. It's an indicator of how stable the person is in their romantic relationships. Of course there are counterexamples, i.e. a virgin who ends up a terrible partner and a promiscuous person who ends up being the love of my life.

erikb 9y ago

Have you heard the term "sexually transmitted desease"?