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Of course many do aspire to a fulfilling romantic life. I'm always a little bit amazed, however, when perfectly normal people admit that they want to marry for

Of course many do aspire to a fulfilling romantic life. I'm always a little bit amazed, however, when perfectly normal people admit that they want to marry for status, stability, and other purely pragmatic reasons. (It's not just women who express this, by the way.) Marriage is pretty complicated here, at least to my outsider eye. I know quite a few middle aged women who openly have steady (usu. older) boyfriends, but these boyfriends go home to a wife who barely speaks to him anymore, and yet refuses to divorce him. This also seems to be a relatively normal relationship in middle and later years here. Like all human stuff, it's complicated under the surface.

BearGoesChirp 9y ago
>I know quite a few middle aged women who openly have steady (usu. older) boyfriends, but these boyfriends go home to a wife who barely speaks to him anymore, and yet refuses to divorce him. >convenient marriage to a busy man who can give her children, financial support, and otherwise leave her alone. This is likely going further off topic at this point, but between these two comments, why would a guy even want to get married? Even when one factors in a boost in pay/social status, this looks like a bad deal (and that is taking a very pragmatic look at it, but we are talking about marriages of convenience).
- nihonde 9y ago
  To be fair, there are healthy, happy marriages here. My point was that the boomer generation devolved into some conventions that seem unacceptable from a Western perspective. You can't underestimate the impulse to act in the larger group's interest in Japan because it is a very real factor that can almost fully subordinate an ego. I don't really consider it better or worse than the "me first" philosophy of self-realization in the West.