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TBH the approach Muzmatch seems to be based on seems rather interesting. -: Completely privacy (nickname and pictures hidden), particularly from family. (Famil
by awjr 9y ago
TBH the approach Muzmatch seems to be based on seems rather interesting.
-: Completely privacy (nickname and pictures hidden), particularly from family. (Family shame)
-: GPS validation, selfie verification etc. (Anti-catfishing)
-: Walis, or guardians in on the chat. (Family approval)
-: Rewards for good behaviour. (Anti abuse & dick pic behaviour)
It's impressive, culturally, but as a father of a 13 year old girl, some of these features appeal. Yes I am protective because I've seen how bad men can be on dating sites. However I recognise I have no right to impose myself on her privacy. Yes, educate her about the darker side of online dating. Yes, be that friend that does not judge and is there to support her. BUT no, do not control her. That is simply wrong. I love the fact my daughter has an independent spirit and does, rightly, stand up to me when she feels she is right and feels comfortable talking to me about pretty much anything (or her mum ;) ). Most importantly we trust her and give her the privacy she cherishes.
The thing is these dating apps are for 18+ year olds and that is when this logically fails for me. What right do I have to control an adult in such a way?
As an aside, about being a father. When my daughter was born I spoke to my neighbour who had two 18 & 19 year old girls. I asked him how it all works. His answer was "You have them until they are 14, and then you are there to pick up the pieces."
The other night I took a taxi home and started talking to the driver. He mentioned his 13 year old daughter was only allowed a basic phone and 1 hour of Facebook, observed, every night, just in case. I was surprised. I just regularly ensure my daughter knows about the various dangers and that she can always talk to us. I've seen this too many times though. Parents blocking porn web sites, then me hopping onto their computer and showing them porn on twitter.
Anyway getting back onto Muzmatch. I suspect it is a good cultural match, where the idea that women/men cannot be trusted and must be controlled, but still providing the ability for women/men to hide their identity from their own family and friends to prevent that control.
- shakkhar 9y ago> Completely privacy (nickname and pictures hidden), particularly from family. (Family shame) ... > Walis, or guardians in on the chat. (Family approval) ... > The thing is these dating apps are for 18+ year olds and that is when this logically fails for me. What right do I have to control an adult in such a way? It is not about you enforcing this on your daughter. The religion demands it. So if the app also facilitates that, it will appeal more to the target audience.
- patrickaljord 9y ago> It is not about you enforcing this on your daughter. The religion demands it. Coming from a Muslim family myself, I can tell that Islam has so many rules most Muslims (if not all, given that some of these rules are contradictory) ignore most of them and only follow the ones they strongly agree with and are part of their culture since probably pre-Islamic times. So no, I would have to say I disagree here, Muslims who control their daughters like that do it because they want it, not because "the religion demands it" though that's the primary excuse they use (I've seen fathers who drink alcohol and eat pork for example or don't pray and yet still go full control freak on their daughters "because Islam demands it".). And yes, this goes for most religions but because Muslims tend to be much more culturally conservative than others, it shows a lot more in their cases.