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Reading this article was heartbreaking. Becoming a parent changes you, or at least it changed me. I can no longer imagine harm to a child---as conjured in a wri
by lph 9y ago
Reading this article was heartbreaking. Becoming a parent changes you, or at least it changed me. I can no longer imagine harm to a child---as conjured in a written article, on a television show, or in a discussion---in an abstract way as I once could. It is now intensely emotional, as if it were happening to my own child in front of my eyes.
This being HackerNews, I'm sure we're all thinking about fancy technological solutions to this problem. But there's a low-tech solution. I'm going to go out into my car right now and train myself to always visually scan the back seats before I leave the vehicle. If you do something enough, it becomes ingrained. I don't think about putting on my seat belt anymore; it just magically happens.
The memory expert interviewed in the article explains that this problem happens when the "low level" basal ganglia has the brain on autopilot, compensating for higher-level functionality that's compromised by stress, emotion, and distraction.
So teach the basal ganglia how to look in the back seat before stepping out of the car. Every time.
- texthompson 9y agoI think of myself as a very absent-minded person. I also can't imagine being in my car without knowing my daughter is in my car. After reading this, I'll probably check the back seat for her even when I'm very confident she's not there. I don't mean to be critical. I've had a lot of advantages in life, and reading about this breaks my heart. I wish I could understand more about how I could help. None of these parents or kids deserve this situation, even if the parents could have done better.
- mmorearty 9y agoI really like your idea, lph. Reminds me of "Why Japan's Rail Workers Point at Things" https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14011793 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14011793 My children are teens now, but I agree 100% that having children changed me in the same way that it changed you.
- lph 9y agoI loved that that article about Japan's rail workers. I'm a huge fan of this stuff. Pre-flight checklists, rock-climbing belay call-and-response, operating room instrument counts (to make sure nothing was left in the patient!), etc. Protocols based on the premise that even experts are fallible, and that even easy things can go sideways.
- dm319 9y ago> Becoming a parent changes you, or at least it changed me. I can no longer imagine harm to a child---as conjured in a written article, on a television show, or in a discussion---in an abstract way as I once could. Same here. As a result I know I am missing out on the excellent GoT.
- ashark 9y ago> The memory expert interviewed in the article explains that this problem happens when the "low level" basal ganglia has the brain on autopilot, compensating for higher-level functionality that's compromised by stress, emotion, and distraction. The thing I've noticed the times I've suffered through looking at more than the headlines of stories like these is that a combination of: (1) a break in routine (kid in car when they wouldn't ordinarily be) with (2) a totally routine 100% autopilot drive of the sort you sometimes realize you're near the end of and don't actually remember doing the earlier parts (morning commute, say) is deadly. It's so easy to see how it could happen. shivers
- lph 9y agoThinking about it further, here's an easy protocol, if you happen to have a push-button ignition vehicle: Toss the key fob into the back seat as soon as you get in. The car will still start. Now, when you leave the car, you have to go retrieve the fob before you can lock it. So this forces you to look in the back as part of your car locking habit.