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I'm astonished to see many comments here on HN (albeit heavily downvoted) saying that if you're a "good parent" then it's easy—just don't forget your child in t

I'm astonished to see many comments here on HN (albeit heavily downvoted) saying that if you're a "good parent" then it's easy—just don't forget your child in the car! It's like saying that if you're a "good engineer" then it's easy not to drop your production database instead of the development one—just don't ssh to the wrong host! I thought we were done with this way of thinking. Apparently not. Or maybe people think that there's this "parent magic" that kicks in and somehow makes you infallible whenever your kids are involved? This sounds so unbelievable I'm not even sure where to start. My wife and I have a kid on the way and you can be sure we'll have at least a basic process in place to reduce the risk of this happening.

maxerickson 9y ago
I don't find it surprising at all. The difference seems to be rooted in a basic social schism.
Inconel 9y ago
I agree with what you're saying but I think your last sentence is an important, and somewhat often overlooked, point. You've recognized that this is a mistake than you aren't immune from making and are going to take steps to lessen the risk of it occurring. I think often times this is the difference between good parenting and not so good parenting. It isn't so much that good parents don't make mistakes or forget things, but that they have a system in place to catch these mistakes before they become incredibly serious. This still won't eliminate all mistakes but it should certainly lessen the risk. From a professional standpoint, while I'm not an engineer I am a technician working in aerospace, I think the same general rules apply. I consider myself pretty darn good at my job and yet I still constantly make mistakes. The trick is to have processes in place that allow you, or someone else, to catch those mistakes before they become irrecoverable. I'd much rather work with someone who makes frequent mistakes but is able to embrace a process meant to identify those mistakes than someone who makes much less frequent mistakes but refuses to adhere to procedures meant to correct mistakes, often out of a sense of arrogance or ego.
- rlpb 9y ago
  > good parents...have a system in place to catch these mistakes before they become incredibly serious. I don't think it's possible to come up with all possible bad things that could happen and have a process in place before they happen. Some level of reactivity is necessary. In some cases, one mistake is too much. Not having foreseen that one mistake doesn't make someone a bad parent, because it's human to make mistakes.
Merad 9y ago
I'm not surprised at all. Even though every rational person knows they're capable of making mistakes, acknowledging that you can easily make a major, major mistake - the kind that kills your child or your company - is a scary thing. I think some people just prefer to lie to themselves rather than than having to deal with it.
- codinghorror 9y ago
  Yes this is the whole point of the article: https://blog.codinghorror.com/they-have-to-be-monsters/ https://blog.codinghorror.com/they-have-to-be-monsters/ It may be one of my very favorite, albeit darkest, things I have read on the internet. It won a Pulitzer for good reason.

maxerickson 9y ago

I don't find it surprising at all. The difference seems to be rooted in a basic social schism.

Inconel 9y ago

I agree with what you're saying but I think your last sentence is an important, and somewhat often overlooked, point. You've recognized that this is a mistake than you aren't immune from making and are going to take steps to lessen the risk of it occurring. I think often times this is the difference between good parenting and not so good parenting. It isn't so much that good parents don't make mistakes or forget things, but that they have a system in place to catch these mistakes before they become incredibly serious. This still won't eliminate all mistakes but it should certainly lessen the risk. From a professional standpoint, while I'm not an engineer I am a technician working in aerospace, I think the same general rules apply. I consider myself pretty darn good at my job and yet I still constantly make mistakes. The trick is to have processes in place that allow you, or someone else, to catch those mistakes before they become irrecoverable. I'd much rather work with someone who makes frequent mistakes but is able to embrace a process meant to identify those mistakes than someone who makes much less frequent mistakes but refuses to adhere to procedures meant to correct mistakes, often out of a sense of arrogance or ego.

rlpb 9y ago
> good parents...have a system in place to catch these mistakes before they become incredibly serious. I don't think it's possible to come up with all possible bad things that could happen and have a process in place before they happen. Some level of reactivity is necessary. In some cases, one mistake is too much. Not having foreseen that one mistake doesn't make someone a bad parent, because it's human to make mistakes.

Merad 9y ago

I'm not surprised at all. Even though every rational person knows they're capable of making mistakes, acknowledging that you can easily make a major, major mistake - the kind that kills your child or your company - is a scary thing. I think some people just prefer to lie to themselves rather than than having to deal with it.

codinghorror 9y ago
Yes this is the whole point of the article: https://blog.codinghorror.com/they-have-to-be-monsters/ https://blog.codinghorror.com/they-have-to-be-monsters/ It may be one of my very favorite, albeit darkest, things I have read on the internet. It won a Pulitzer for good reason.