Are you being facetious? It seems like you are. I'm 99% sure you have to be, but some people do think and write like that. Notably the cringeworthy second para

Are you being facetious? It seems like you are. I'm 99% sure you have to be, but some people do think and write like that. Notably the cringeworthy second paragraph and substituting $ for s like this is Slashdot in the 00s.