6 ms·

You almost left tech because a bunch in tech are socially awkward weirdos who don't give a crap about other people. Period. It's not about being a woman... it's

by antgly 9y ago

You almost left tech because a bunch in tech are socially awkward weirdos who don't give a crap about other people. Period. It's not about being a woman... it's that the tech field is full of anti-social shit.

cocklagger 9y ago
The funniest thing is that many of the people on HN are this type.
giarc 9y ago
I don't think you can describe some of the actions as simply by those that are "socially awkward". Her director asked her to move to make room for his big dick. That's inappropriate whether you are introverted or extroverted.
KirinDave 9y ago
Yo I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you've never had a woman and a manager walk up and say "Move over I need room for my big tits." I'm sure those experiences can exist in this world, but data we have paints a picture that these "socially awkward weirdos" aren't so weird and special and snowflake. They're garden variety sexists of the most boring and hurtful sort.
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
- Danihan 9y ago
  I have, back when I worked in restaurants.
  - orbitingpluto 9y ago
    I have also seen that sort of behaviour at the high level as a female president and her most immediate female cronies, Given the owner, she would not have climbed up in the company without acting like that. Whether they were emulating the corresponding male behaviours to get ahead or are just awful human beings is inconsequential, but my vote was for, "Why not both?" You have to challenge these people for your own mental well being. If it doesn't work out for your career prospects, oh well, at least you remain a content and happy human being.
- alexandercrohde 9y ago
  So, I think there is a worthwhile discussion here that's getting lost in all the emotions. The discussion comes down to this "Should we look at this as a gender debate, or an engineering debate?" I can see why gp wouldn't want to see it as a gender debate, because it negates the negative experience some men have around other toxic male engineers. I can also see why you wouldn't want to deny the sexist element's existence, that would just seem counter-factual. I also want to express a hesitation to reduce this to a gender issue, because I find it so often creates an US-vs-THEM mentality. Because I'm a guy, and I think many managers in engineering are abusive, and I don't think the fact that the abuse isn't throwing out the word "pussy" negates the severity of the situation. Consider Japan, where stress at work has gotten so bad, the country has made a goal of reducing suicide rates. I think we need to unite around work standards before we get to that point, not as guys vs girls, but as workers vs investors.
  - KirinDave 9y ago
    > because I find it so often creates an US-vs-THEM mentality. Maybe if workplaces were not deliberately enforcing a men-at-the-expense-of-women social norm, this notion wouldn't exist. > Consider Japan No, I'd rather not. A reductive analysis of Japan's workplace dynamics isn't helpful here.
    - alexandercrohde 9y ago
      I find your response dismissive and counterproductive. I don't understand on what basis you can discount the realities of alternative cultures.
      - KirinDave 9y ago
        > I find your response dismissive and counterproductive. Then you are perceptive. I have no interest in discussing the complex landscape of Japan's gender roles, historical context, current economic issues, their declining birthrate, and their intersection with the current prime minister. We need not point to any of that to agree that this behavior reported in the article is indefensible. Your first instinct upon hearing this is to say, "Yes, well, that seems inappropriate but really I think this isn't about how we treat women but how we treat engineers." Yet you follow through later in the thread with the contextually audacious claim that I'm overly dismissive? Productivity here will be limited.
- revmoo 9y ago
  That's really stereotypical and reductive.
burkaman 9y ago
Why are there so many blog posts like this written by women, and why aren't there any written by men?
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]

by antgly 9y ago

cocklagger 9y ago

The funniest thing is that many of the people on HN are this type.

giarc 9y ago

I don't think you can describe some of the actions as simply by those that are "socially awkward". Her director asked her to move to make room for his big dick. That's inappropriate whether you are introverted or extroverted.

KirinDave 9y ago

Yo I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you've never had a woman and a manager walk up and say "Move over I need room for my big tits." I'm sure those experiences can exist in this world, but data we have paints a picture that these "socially awkward weirdos" aren't so weird and special and snowflake. They're garden variety sexists of the most boring and hurtful sort.

deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
Danihan 9y ago
I have, back when I worked in restaurants.
- orbitingpluto 9y ago
  I have also seen that sort of behaviour at the high level as a female president and her most immediate female cronies, Given the owner, she would not have climbed up in the company without acting like that. Whether they were emulating the corresponding male behaviours to get ahead or are just awful human beings is inconsequential, but my vote was for, "Why not both?" You have to challenge these people for your own mental well being. If it doesn't work out for your career prospects, oh well, at least you remain a content and happy human being.
alexandercrohde 9y ago
So, I think there is a worthwhile discussion here that's getting lost in all the emotions. The discussion comes down to this "Should we look at this as a gender debate, or an engineering debate?" I can see why gp wouldn't want to see it as a gender debate, because it negates the negative experience some men have around other toxic male engineers. I can also see why you wouldn't want to deny the sexist element's existence, that would just seem counter-factual. I also want to express a hesitation to reduce this to a gender issue, because I find it so often creates an US-vs-THEM mentality. Because I'm a guy, and I think many managers in engineering are abusive, and I don't think the fact that the abuse isn't throwing out the word "pussy" negates the severity of the situation. Consider Japan, where stress at work has gotten so bad, the country has made a goal of reducing suicide rates. I think we need to unite around work standards before we get to that point, not as guys vs girls, but as workers vs investors.
- KirinDave 9y ago
  > because I find it so often creates an US-vs-THEM mentality. Maybe if workplaces were not deliberately enforcing a men-at-the-expense-of-women social norm, this notion wouldn't exist. > Consider Japan No, I'd rather not. A reductive analysis of Japan's workplace dynamics isn't helpful here.
  - alexandercrohde 9y ago
    I find your response dismissive and counterproductive. I don't understand on what basis you can discount the realities of alternative cultures.
    - KirinDave 9y ago
      > I find your response dismissive and counterproductive. Then you are perceptive. I have no interest in discussing the complex landscape of Japan's gender roles, historical context, current economic issues, their declining birthrate, and their intersection with the current prime minister. We need not point to any of that to agree that this behavior reported in the article is indefensible. Your first instinct upon hearing this is to say, "Yes, well, that seems inappropriate but really I think this isn't about how we treat women but how we treat engineers." Yet you follow through later in the thread with the contextually audacious claim that I'm overly dismissive? Productivity here will be limited.
revmoo 9y ago
That's really stereotypical and reductive.

burkaman 9y ago

Why are there so many blog posts like this written by women, and why aren't there any written by men?

deleted 9y ago
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