Simple answer to your problem. Everything you mentioned about "being awesome" in your current life, aren't things that make you happy. That's it! Switch things

Simple answer to your problem. Everything you mentioned about "being awesome" in your current life, aren't things that make you happy. That's it! Switch things up a little bit and I'm sure you're smart enough to make the difference between "what's good for me" and "what people think is awesome". Try new things, break your routine. Life has a lot to offer my friend :)