4 ms·

I'm going to be short and to the point, and hope you will take it well. I mean the best, as I myself have been in this place. Based on what you wrote, it seems

by akulbe 9y ago

I'm going to be short and to the point, and hope you will take it well. I mean the best, as I myself have been in this place. Based on what you wrote, it seems like you are only focused inward, on yourself. Figure out a way to focus on someone else. Had an old, wise friend tell me, "You learn to love, by doing for..." i.e. when you tend to someone who is helpless, you are focused on them, and their needs. You gain a whole new perspective on life. Do _for_ them. Do something that doesn't bring you any gain or benefit. Just to be a good human. Selfless. Kids make this happen, naturally. But I'm not suggesting you go have a bunch of kids, just for that, I hope you get my drift.

EADGBE 9y ago
I really wasn't happy until I had a kid. The more I had, the happier I got. Giving life gives purpose, in a way.
martin1b 9y ago
This is good advice. Also, appreciate what you've been given and give to those less fortunate. Working at a soup kitchen, or somewhere where you can come in contact with those less fortunate will help you appreciate what you have. Akulbe mentioned kids. I can't upvote that enough. They really help you become selfless and see the beauty of life.
- akulbe 9y ago
  The part about the soup kitchen... I thought about that. One thing I'd caution on this, is check your motives. If you're going to check the box, okay, I'm a good person because I do this... you've lost. Start over. Truth be told, any one of us is one catastrophe away from being where the folks who come to the soup kitchen are. We could be uber-successful one day, and penniless the next. Find out about them. It's about THEM. Ask them to tell you their story. Get to know them. Focus completely on someone else. Listen. Don't talk. Make sense?
ajeet_dhaliwal 9y ago
I too have had a huge happiness increase since having children. I have two, they are the best things in my life. Overall though, I don't think the op problem is just about kids, it may be just down to isolation and loneliness. We need a village, family and social support to feel good. I'm happiest not only when I'm with my wife and children, but also have grand parents and other relatives and close friends gather.

by akulbe 9y ago

EADGBE 9y ago

I really wasn't happy until I had a kid. The more I had, the happier I got. Giving life gives purpose, in a way.

martin1b 9y ago

This is good advice. Also, appreciate what you've been given and give to those less fortunate. Working at a soup kitchen, or somewhere where you can come in contact with those less fortunate will help you appreciate what you have. Akulbe mentioned kids. I can't upvote that enough. They really help you become selfless and see the beauty of life.

akulbe 9y ago
The part about the soup kitchen... I thought about that. One thing I'd caution on this, is check your motives. If you're going to check the box, okay, I'm a good person because I do this... you've lost. Start over. Truth be told, any one of us is one catastrophe away from being where the folks who come to the soup kitchen are. We could be uber-successful one day, and penniless the next. Find out about them. It's about THEM. Ask them to tell you their story. Get to know them. Focus completely on someone else. Listen. Don't talk. Make sense?

ajeet_dhaliwal 9y ago

I too have had a huge happiness increase since having children. I have two, they are the best things in my life. Overall though, I don't think the op problem is just about kids, it may be just down to isolation and loneliness. We need a village, family and social support to feel good. I'm happiest not only when I'm with my wife and children, but also have grand parents and other relatives and close friends gather.