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"He put his arm around my shoulders and whispered “Can’t you pretend you’re single?” in my ear. I shrugged him off. " At that point an approach was made and me
by gerdesj 9y ago
"He put his arm around my shoulders and whispered “Can’t you pretend you’re single?” in my ear. I shrugged him off. "
At that point an approach was made and met with a clear response. That was when things should have stopped. That is how potential relationship escalation should work: an offer is made in some way and based on the response the proposer gets an idea on how to proceed (in this case - bugger off).
It is absolutely unacceptable that anyone should be assaulted.
- amatecha 9y agoHe shouldn't even have made any approach whatsoever. For that matter, he literally had just heard that she's married. What a piece of work.
- damm 9y agoIt's one of the biggest problems we have. Typical response from a man is that I'm a great catch; she just doesn't know that she wants me. Once she's had sex with me she'll marry me. This is actually someone threatening rape (imo). Unfortunately it's something our President has said. We need to stop this behavior where people think they are entitled to someone else. We also need to have our Law enforcement act more appropriately to handle this; ensure Rape Kits are tested promptly. Educating our children and adults reminding them what is and what isn't acceptable. It isn't acceptable to touch someone on the shoulder if they asked you to remove it. Lastly we need to call sexual harassment what it is. It's harassment; it's something as a society we have ignored for far too long.
- Mz 9y agoTypical response from a man is that I'm a great catch; she just doesn't know that she wants me. Once she's had sex with me she'll marry me. It's worse than that. For various reasons, some men are actively more interested if you reject them. It is a little bit like the principle that running from a bear will incite its chase instinct.
- swiley 9y agoI don't know if it's the same for everyone else but growing up I was told you're supposed to chase girls and that if you don't actively pursue them you'll end up alone. I think that's where this kind of thing comes from.
- Mz 9y agoI think it is more complicated than that, but that no doubt is a contributing factor.
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]
- owebmaster 9y agoThis. The western culture puts women in a pedestal and men trying to climb it. It is a society problem, not men's fault.
- Mz 9y agoIt is a societal problem and not the fault of any individual, but it can only be solved by many individuals taking a good hard look at themselves and choosing to handle it differently.
- skocznymroczny 9y agoAlso, as a man, you are respected to break the girl's apparent resistance. If you are in early stages of relationship and want to wait for the girl to be comfortable to kiss you, you'll never get here. Asking a girl if you can kiss her will be awkward too and will probably be a no. Leaning in and kissing her will do the trick. Obviously if she says no and leans away, you stop and don't try it.
- swiley 9y agoThat's actually not my experience, they always ask or at least give some fairly obvious sign that they want to, if they don't ask I always ask first. I've never just leaned in and kissed them and everyone that I've talked to say they hate that. But I still hear LOTS of people say this and it's exactly what I'm talking about. Everyone keeps saying men need to be aggressive and I really do think that's what causes a lot of the sexual harassment.
- Ilikesoup 9y ago>Once she's had sex with me she'll marry me. From my experience this is the last thing men are thinking in these situations.
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]