6 ms·

You just described my life with uncanny accuracy. I have suspected for some time that my problems were due to social isolation, but I have been too apathetic t

by biofox 9y ago

You just described my life with uncanny accuracy. I have suspected for some time that my problems were due to social isolation, but I have been too apathetic to make an effort to do anything. You've just given me the motivation to change that. Thank you!

sillysaurus3 9y ago
I wish there were a Tinder for friends. It's a shame no one would use it.
- pmiller2 9y ago
  There is, but it's called meetup.com. You don't have to just go to tech/networking meetups, you know. :)
  - abrookewood 9y ago
    Second this - meetups are pretty good for a variety of topics, not all of them tech related.
  - Kurtz79 9y ago
    I also recommend it, and cannot see anything wrong in going to tech/networking meetups, it should be anything you are interested in and won't feel out of place attending.
  - mavhc 9y ago
    meetup.com is good, met a new friend there a month ago. Also invite all the local people on Facebook you are "friends" with to actually hang out.
- jfabre 9y ago
  Try https://www.me3app.co/ https://www.me3app.co/
  - Zorlag 9y ago
    They ask an awful lot of personal questions that I am not comfortable with being on a server in reach of US authorities
- my_username_is_ 9y ago
  As someone who recently moved to a new city without any network, I've found myself wishing for a similar type of app too. In related news, if anyone reading this is in central Oregon and wants to meet up, feel free to shoot me an email :-)
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
- beefield 9y ago
  At some point I thought there should be an app for lonely people to get know each other. but I am a bit afraid that being lonely is much more difficult to admit to even oneself than being single, so I started thinking that the app should not be about loneliness, but about things to do or help needed in simple things. So I guess it should be something remotely resembling twitter that is geographically filterable. so that you could "tweet" things like "We need one more person to our game evening, anyone nearby? #Games" "I am driving to Los Angeles. Ayone need a ride? #Rides" "Need more potatoes for our #food. Bring some and come to eat" Obviously you would also need to figure out a way to keep creeps civilized and a currency/counter to keep the small asshole minority just taking advantage of others help.
  - moretai 9y ago
    It's so hard...
  - graphitezepp 9y ago
    At the IT company I used to work at, our CTO constantly raged over people asking for technical solutions for their own management problems, which is a pattern I have internalized. Sometimes things are social issues that need to be solved socially. I don't think there is going to be a systematic way to keep creeps out and prevent the asshole minority, people are just going to have work things out as a society.
    - beefield 9y ago
      I think it is quite difficult to let complete strangers to your home without any help from technology. I don't think this app would need any rocket science, but I would guess that a simple way to verify who you are dealing with and make that public ("John Doe is joining our board game night today") and some kind of scoring system ("John Doe has wanted help x times and given help y times and on average people do not seem to think he is an asshole") But I think the crucial point is that if you want to fight loneliness, it is difficult to do that if the lonely one is made to think that he is now getting something because he is lonely. That will instead make him feel worse. It would be much better to tell to the lonely one that hey, just you, I would need your help. (Complete amateur psychologist writing here)
- louhike 9y ago
  A lot of people use OkCupid for that. You can put in your profile that you're looking only for friends.
- heydonovan 9y ago
  An app for friendship sounds too broad. I've tried meetup.com a few times, but all the events seem to take place while I'm at work (I'm pretty much night shift), so that didn't work out. I'd suggest finding a community that interests you, and looking for a local meetup. For example, there are tons of video game forums out there, but if you focus on one game, the pool gets smaller, but more tight. I've met a few people IRL playing Destiny, and tons more online. Maybe someone else has more suggestions!
- visakanv 9y ago
  The best way to meet people is not "I'm looking to meet people" – because then those events and spaces get filled with social outcasts and creepy folks. The best way to meet people is to look for activity groups, meetups and so on. People with common interests. I'd even argue that this is actually a better way to find romantic partners, than to signal "I am looking for a romantic partner" (unless you're above-average in attractiveness).
- adinobro 9y ago
  There basically is. Meetup.com does what you are looking for. People without any common interests are boring to spend time with. You need at least something in common. I move all the time and every time I move to a new city I try to find a board game group and a Linux User Group. I'm not super into Linux anymore (I used to be a Systems Administrator) but I can help new users and the people are geeky and people that I often get on with. In the past I have joined Toastmasters groups. They are good with a much more varried group of people going to them. The point is the people then connect you with other people.
nojvek 9y ago
Since this is HN I think a lot of users would fall in this camp. I'm definitely guilty of this. I'm not great at social interactions.
- keithpeter 9y ago
  I'd say that because of the kind of work that many here do, the onset isolation/neglect of friendship networks is more obvious than in other occupations. That means people here will notice the situation more quickly and be able to take sensible proportionate steps. I work as a teacher, so in a normal week I have lots and lots of high bandwidth face to face engagement with hundreds of people. I've seen people retire from teaching and suddenly discover the relative atrophy of their non-work networks, and I'm taking steps to avoid the same experience.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
ycombinete 9y ago
As I commented above, I lived through this exact experience, and moving back to office work had a huge impact on my overall happiness. That and Vipassana meditation.

by biofox 9y ago

sillysaurus3 9y ago

I wish there were a Tinder for friends. It's a shame no one would use it.

pmiller2 9y ago
There is, but it's called meetup.com. You don't have to just go to tech/networking meetups, you know. :)
- abrookewood 9y ago
  Second this - meetups are pretty good for a variety of topics, not all of them tech related.
- Kurtz79 9y ago
  I also recommend it, and cannot see anything wrong in going to tech/networking meetups, it should be anything you are interested in and won't feel out of place attending.
- mavhc 9y ago
  meetup.com is good, met a new friend there a month ago. Also invite all the local people on Facebook you are "friends" with to actually hang out.
jfabre 9y ago
Try https://www.me3app.co/ https://www.me3app.co/
- Zorlag 9y ago
  They ask an awful lot of personal questions that I am not comfortable with being on a server in reach of US authorities
my_username_is_ 9y ago
As someone who recently moved to a new city without any network, I've found myself wishing for a similar type of app too. In related news, if anyone reading this is in central Oregon and wants to meet up, feel free to shoot me an email :-)
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
beefield 9y ago
At some point I thought there should be an app for lonely people to get know each other. but I am a bit afraid that being lonely is much more difficult to admit to even oneself than being single, so I started thinking that the app should not be about loneliness, but about things to do or help needed in simple things. So I guess it should be something remotely resembling twitter that is geographically filterable. so that you could "tweet" things like "We need one more person to our game evening, anyone nearby? #Games" "I am driving to Los Angeles. Ayone need a ride? #Rides" "Need more potatoes for our #food. Bring some and come to eat" Obviously you would also need to figure out a way to keep creeps civilized and a currency/counter to keep the small asshole minority just taking advantage of others help.
- moretai 9y ago
  It's so hard...
- graphitezepp 9y ago
  At the IT company I used to work at, our CTO constantly raged over people asking for technical solutions for their own management problems, which is a pattern I have internalized. Sometimes things are social issues that need to be solved socially. I don't think there is going to be a systematic way to keep creeps out and prevent the asshole minority, people are just going to have work things out as a society.
  - beefield 9y ago
    I think it is quite difficult to let complete strangers to your home without any help from technology. I don't think this app would need any rocket science, but I would guess that a simple way to verify who you are dealing with and make that public ("John Doe is joining our board game night today") and some kind of scoring system ("John Doe has wanted help x times and given help y times and on average people do not seem to think he is an asshole") But I think the crucial point is that if you want to fight loneliness, it is difficult to do that if the lonely one is made to think that he is now getting something because he is lonely. That will instead make him feel worse. It would be much better to tell to the lonely one that hey, just you, I would need your help. (Complete amateur psychologist writing here)
louhike 9y ago
A lot of people use OkCupid for that. You can put in your profile that you're looking only for friends.
heydonovan 9y ago
An app for friendship sounds too broad. I've tried meetup.com a few times, but all the events seem to take place while I'm at work (I'm pretty much night shift), so that didn't work out. I'd suggest finding a community that interests you, and looking for a local meetup. For example, there are tons of video game forums out there, but if you focus on one game, the pool gets smaller, but more tight. I've met a few people IRL playing Destiny, and tons more online. Maybe someone else has more suggestions!
visakanv 9y ago
The best way to meet people is not "I'm looking to meet people" – because then those events and spaces get filled with social outcasts and creepy folks. The best way to meet people is to look for activity groups, meetups and so on. People with common interests. I'd even argue that this is actually a better way to find romantic partners, than to signal "I am looking for a romantic partner" (unless you're above-average in attractiveness).
adinobro 9y ago
There basically is. Meetup.com does what you are looking for. People without any common interests are boring to spend time with. You need at least something in common. I move all the time and every time I move to a new city I try to find a board game group and a Linux User Group. I'm not super into Linux anymore (I used to be a Systems Administrator) but I can help new users and the people are geeky and people that I often get on with. In the past I have joined Toastmasters groups. They are good with a much more varried group of people going to them. The point is the people then connect you with other people.

nojvek 9y ago

Since this is HN I think a lot of users would fall in this camp. I'm definitely guilty of this. I'm not great at social interactions.

keithpeter 9y ago
I'd say that because of the kind of work that many here do, the onset isolation/neglect of friendship networks is more obvious than in other occupations. That means people here will notice the situation more quickly and be able to take sensible proportionate steps. I work as a teacher, so in a normal week I have lots and lots of high bandwidth face to face engagement with hundreds of people. I've seen people retire from teaching and suddenly discover the relative atrophy of their non-work networks, and I'm taking steps to avoid the same experience.

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

ycombinete 9y ago

As I commented above, I lived through this exact experience, and moving back to office work had a huge impact on my overall happiness. That and Vipassana meditation.