3 ms·

> There's a real risk of physical harm at every stage. This is vastly-overinflated risk, and honestly part of the mess we're in is due to people treating suito

> There's a real risk of physical harm at every stage. This is vastly-overinflated risk, and honestly part of the mess we're in is due to people treating suitors as potential rapists or axe murderers. > If you're unsure give 'em one more "I'd love to hear from you." before deleting their contact info and moving on. This sort of brush-off means that a) you're going to be surprised when they show up again and b) they're definitely going to be more annoyed when they find out you ghosted them. If you don't treat others with respect, it makes things worse for everyone.

vinceguidry 9y ago
> This is vastly-overinflated risk I don't think it is. I don't know a single attractive woman who hasn't been physically abused by at least one of their exes.
- miiiiiike 9y ago
  The "attractive" qualifier gives the whole comment a bad smell. Physical abuse is physical abuse and it tells you more about the abuser than the abused.
  - vinceguidry 9y ago
    I haven't gotten to know the unattractive ones well enough for them to tell me their romantic history. But yeah, I bet a lot of them get abused too.
miiiiiike 9y ago
> This is vastly-overinflated risk, and honestly part of the mess we're in is due to people treating suitors as potential rapists or axe murderers. Being careful who you socialize with is smart no matter what. > This sort of brush-off means that I wouldn't call it a brush off, it's an invitation to respond (or not) without further pressure or expectations. > a) you're going to be surprised when they show up again Yes! Delightfully surprised! > b) they're definitely going to be more annoyed when they find out you ghosted them. I've never had a bad experience with it. Most people who do decided to get back to you after an extended absence have a pretty good sense of humor about the situation. Ghosted is the last thing I'd feel if someone's last message to me was "I'd love to hear from you!"

vinceguidry 9y ago

> This is vastly-overinflated risk I don't think it is. I don't know a single attractive woman who hasn't been physically abused by at least one of their exes.

miiiiiike 9y ago
The "attractive" qualifier gives the whole comment a bad smell. Physical abuse is physical abuse and it tells you more about the abuser than the abused.
- vinceguidry 9y ago
  I haven't gotten to know the unattractive ones well enough for them to tell me their romantic history. But yeah, I bet a lot of them get abused too.

miiiiiike 9y ago

> This is vastly-overinflated risk, and honestly part of the mess we're in is due to people treating suitors as potential rapists or axe murderers. Being careful who you socialize with is smart no matter what. > This sort of brush-off means that I wouldn't call it a brush off, it's an invitation to respond (or not) without further pressure or expectations. > a) you're going to be surprised when they show up again Yes! Delightfully surprised! > b) they're definitely going to be more annoyed when they find out you ghosted them. I've never had a bad experience with it. Most people who do decided to get back to you after an extended absence have a pretty good sense of humor about the situation. Ghosted is the last thing I'd feel if someone's last message to me was "I'd love to hear from you!"