7 ms·

Five.js gives you five

40 points by orf 9y ago

vmasto 9y ago
Please can you make the async version return a Promise. It's 2017 for cryin' out loud! five.asPromised?
- daw___ 9y ago
  There is a pending PR: https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/321 https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/321
- Uberphallus 9y ago
  Yes, please, it's 2017, nobody wants to block all I/O waiting for an int.
- JepZ 9y ago
  And that require is so 2016... Today we use import: import five from 'five'
- BenoitEssiambre 9y ago
  Supporting promises would maybe be one level too meta since they are a prime example of what this library is making fun of.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
fiatjaf 9y ago
Ok, this is a joke. But why? Why would someone waste so much time just to make a stupid joke like this? The left-pad as a service joke at least had some context.
- bluetidepro 9y ago
  > "...waste so much time..." I think you are overestimating the time they put into this. Ha
- pivotal 9y ago
  IMO you don't need a reason for something like this, it's just fun. We all spend a lot of time solving problems with software and I believe most of us neglect that you can make stuff just to make stuff. I wrote an angular directive that prints out ascii butts: https://www.npmjs.com/package/pw-butts https://www.npmjs.com/package/pw-butts, I doubt anyone will use it for anything, but I enjoyed making it and it's fun that it exists. If it helps, think of it as "Art".
- rimunroe 9y ago
  I think asking why something is a joke, or why someone could possibly find a dumb thing funny is pretty similar to asking people to justify why they enjoy some type of art. I don't get the appeal of abstract expressionism and I feel like trying to make something in that genre would be a waste of my time, but I wouldn't go around criticizing it as stupid or vocally expressing my perplexity. Different people get amusement/enjoyment from different things, and it often appears weird to others.
Existenceblinks 9y ago
I'd name it a polymorphic five?
cjCamel 9y ago
How come five.english() // Five But five.french() // cinq (lower case)?
lozzo 9y ago
I know some people who write excellent JS libraries, submit their work on GitHub, post their work on HackerNews and others and get either unnoticed or collect a handful of stars. It's sad to see that five.js has more than 800 stars on GitHub and it's documented like if it was of any value
- taneq 9y ago
  It's got 800 stars because it's funny. And it's documented seriously because, if it wasn't, it wouldn't be as funny.
  - fiatjaf 9y ago
    You are right. People tend to think of these unfunny things as funny. That's why 9gag and other services are crowded with people making and sharing mostly idiot jokes.
    - krapp 9y ago
      >People tend to think of these unfunny things as funny. Humor is entirely subjective. If someone thinks it's funny then, by definition, it's funny.
    - mcphage 9y ago
      > People tend to think of these unfunny things as funny. Luckily we have you around to help us distinguish between the two!
- fiatjaf 9y ago
  I feel the same way.
daw___ 9y ago
I did not know you could get an https://<your-project>.js.org https://<your-project>.js.org address for free, thanks! `high ${five()}!`
- jackdcrawford 9y ago
  You could have used five.high() here ;)
  - throwanem 9y ago
    five.tooSlow();
jmkni 9y ago
Are there Typescript definitions?
shizcakes 9y ago
So, I realize this is a joke, but there's a small silver lining here IMO. This is potentially an interesting way to illustrate to new or non-programmers just how many ways there are to slice any problem. If 5 can be creatively represented so many ways, imagine how many ways a more complex business problem can be implemented?
gregjw 9y ago
Finally, a worthwhile JavaScript library.
madeofpalk 9y ago
related: https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-anchor https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-anchor https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-100 https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-100 https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-clap https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-clap https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-badminton-racquet-and-shuttlecock https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-badminton-racquet-and-sh... https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-black-left-pointing-double-triangle-with-vertical-bar https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-black-left-pointing-doub... ...I'm sure you get the idea
throwanem 9y ago
"Elvish" is Quenya; Sindarin is unrepresented. This must not stand. https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/332 https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/332

40 points by orf 9y ago

vmasto 9y ago

Please can you make the async version return a Promise. It's 2017 for cryin' out loud! five.asPromised?

daw___ 9y ago
There is a pending PR: https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/321 https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/321
Uberphallus 9y ago
Yes, please, it's 2017, nobody wants to block all I/O waiting for an int.
JepZ 9y ago
And that require is so 2016... Today we use import: import five from 'five'
BenoitEssiambre 9y ago
Supporting promises would maybe be one level too meta since they are a prime example of what this library is making fun of.

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

fiatjaf 9y ago

Ok, this is a joke. But why? Why would someone waste so much time just to make a stupid joke like this? The left-pad as a service joke at least had some context.

bluetidepro 9y ago
> "...waste so much time..." I think you are overestimating the time they put into this. Ha
pivotal 9y ago
IMO you don't need a reason for something like this, it's just fun. We all spend a lot of time solving problems with software and I believe most of us neglect that you can make stuff just to make stuff. I wrote an angular directive that prints out ascii butts: https://www.npmjs.com/package/pw-butts https://www.npmjs.com/package/pw-butts, I doubt anyone will use it for anything, but I enjoyed making it and it's fun that it exists. If it helps, think of it as "Art".
rimunroe 9y ago
I think asking why something is a joke, or why someone could possibly find a dumb thing funny is pretty similar to asking people to justify why they enjoy some type of art. I don't get the appeal of abstract expressionism and I feel like trying to make something in that genre would be a waste of my time, but I wouldn't go around criticizing it as stupid or vocally expressing my perplexity. Different people get amusement/enjoyment from different things, and it often appears weird to others.

Existenceblinks 9y ago

I'd name it a polymorphic five?

cjCamel 9y ago

How come five.english() // Five But five.french() // cinq (lower case)?

lozzo 9y ago

I know some people who write excellent JS libraries, submit their work on GitHub, post their work on HackerNews and others and get either unnoticed or collect a handful of stars. It's sad to see that five.js has more than 800 stars on GitHub and it's documented like if it was of any value

taneq 9y ago
It's got 800 stars because it's funny. And it's documented seriously because, if it wasn't, it wouldn't be as funny.
- fiatjaf 9y ago
  You are right. People tend to think of these unfunny things as funny. That's why 9gag and other services are crowded with people making and sharing mostly idiot jokes.
  - krapp 9y ago
    >People tend to think of these unfunny things as funny. Humor is entirely subjective. If someone thinks it's funny then, by definition, it's funny.
  - mcphage 9y ago
    > People tend to think of these unfunny things as funny. Luckily we have you around to help us distinguish between the two!
fiatjaf 9y ago
I feel the same way.

daw___ 9y ago

I did not know you could get an https://<your-project>.js.org https://<your-project>.js.org address for free, thanks! `high ${five()}!`

jackdcrawford 9y ago
You could have used five.high() here ;)
- throwanem 9y ago
  five.tooSlow();

jmkni 9y ago

Are there Typescript definitions?

shizcakes 9y ago

So, I realize this is a joke, but there's a small silver lining here IMO. This is potentially an interesting way to illustrate to new or non-programmers just how many ways there are to slice any problem. If 5 can be creatively represented so many ways, imagine how many ways a more complex business problem can be implemented?

gregjw 9y ago

Finally, a worthwhile JavaScript library.

madeofpalk 9y ago

related: https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-anchor https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-anchor https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-100 https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-100 https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-clap https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-clap https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-badminton-racquet-and-shuttlecock https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-badminton-racquet-and-sh... https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-black-left-pointing-double-triangle-with-vertical-bar https://www.npmjs.com/package/emoji-black-left-pointing-doub... ...I'm sure you get the idea

throwanem 9y ago

"Elvish" is Quenya; Sindarin is unrepresented. This must not stand. https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/332 https://github.com/jackdcrawford/five/pull/332