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I've been struggling to begin rehabilitating and changing my home environment. I went through hell with a series of offensively noisy and aggressively inconsid

I've been struggling to begin rehabilitating and changing my home environment. I went through hell with a series of offensively noisy and aggressively inconsiderate neighbors. So, I avoided home. And I didn't invite people over. And, as the months wore into years, my home took on aspects of neglect. I was "trapped" at first by some circumstances I didn't deal with well. Then more thoroughly by the self-reinforcing nature of this decline. Basically, if I'm not comfortable at home, I do not have people over. I lose a big part of my control over my interactions as well as my ability to reciprocate. Further, since these circumstances stress me so, I don't feel well about myself -- including my inability to more effectively deal with the situation -- and this also causes me to engage less. And as this is self-reinforcing, so is the attendant, resultant loneliness. When I do get away from it, I enjoy interacting with people and seem to do reasonably well at it. Well, the "cool" people are still too self-absorbed to accept me. Fuck them -- a lesson too long in learning. I'm not saying I have "the answer." But my intuition, of many years now, has not changed: I need to get the hell out of here and to somewhere I'm simply more happy and at peace with myself. Otherwise, half my mind is always at least subconsciously worrying about the monster behind the door. Like neighbors with sub-woofers who would rattle my windows for hours on end.

muzuq 9y ago
Something I think I've overlooked is exactly this, my environment. I know that I don't help myself, trapping myself in my home. Good luck with your journey, and thanks.
jansho 9y ago
That's an awful spiral. Correct me if I've misunderstood, but this is caused by bad neighbours? If this is really the root, take the leap and move out! Perhaps you can try flat-sharing next. I live in a rural town, which I love (courtesy to introversion) but sometimes it can get lonely, and yes, that self-reinforcing spiral then happens. I try to go to tech events in big cities at least once a month so I'm reminded that I 'belong' to this community, even though most of the time I don't interact very much. (And that's ok too, be comfortable with who you are! :)) Seems to be working, that and monthly meetups with old friends and nurturing an appreciation of my own company. This is just me though - try different things so that you can find which suit you best. Chin up!
alltakendamned 9y ago
OK, I've been in the same situation with the same type of terrible neighbours. So let me make this simple. Get Out ASAP! Do whatever it takes to get out of there as soon as possible, but every day you stay your mental health will deteriorate. Cost should not be an issue here. When you get out, ensure you are in a somewhat flexible situation, rent instead of buy etc. It'll take some time to heal and your preferences or needs might change during that time. Things will be so much better afterwards. In retrospect, I can only say that for everyone in this situation, their first priority should be getting out. Good Luck !

muzuq 9y ago

Something I think I've overlooked is exactly this, my environment. I know that I don't help myself, trapping myself in my home. Good luck with your journey, and thanks.

jansho 9y ago

That's an awful spiral. Correct me if I've misunderstood, but this is caused by bad neighbours? If this is really the root, take the leap and move out! Perhaps you can try flat-sharing next. I live in a rural town, which I love (courtesy to introversion) but sometimes it can get lonely, and yes, that self-reinforcing spiral then happens. I try to go to tech events in big cities at least once a month so I'm reminded that I 'belong' to this community, even though most of the time I don't interact very much. (And that's ok too, be comfortable with who you are! :)) Seems to be working, that and monthly meetups with old friends and nurturing an appreciation of my own company. This is just me though - try different things so that you can find which suit you best. Chin up!

alltakendamned 9y ago

OK, I've been in the same situation with the same type of terrible neighbours. So let me make this simple. Get Out ASAP! Do whatever it takes to get out of there as soon as possible, but every day you stay your mental health will deteriorate. Cost should not be an issue here. When you get out, ensure you are in a somewhat flexible situation, rent instead of buy etc. It'll take some time to heal and your preferences or needs might change during that time. Things will be so much better afterwards. In retrospect, I can only say that for everyone in this situation, their first priority should be getting out. Good Luck !