I think you're right that in those instances you won't be able to spare feelings. My comment about "not making the other person feel bad about it" is probably

I think you're right that in those instances you won't be able to spare feelings. My comment about "not making the other person feel bad about it" is probably wrong in that sense, since you can be empathetic and it still may result in the other person feeling badly (like in your examples). Though I think those cases should be the exception to the norm. As far as empathy getting in the way - I think in the firing example while managers often feel an urge to be empathetic in a misdirected way (i.e. "this decision is hard for me too") true empathy would be recognizing that if you were the one being fired there is no good way to state it and however difficult it is for you to fire them - it doesn't compare. I guess to reframe it, it's more about thinking about how the other person will be affected and doing the best you can given the circumstance.