3 ms·

How does author solve the problem of being kind, other people mistaking it for weakness and taking advantage of it?

• eropple 9y ago
  Not the author, but being kind doesn't mean that I let people walk over me. You can always still say "no." It's how you say it that matters. I find it easier--by being calm and reasonable and explaining why I'm saying no, I'm more likely to succeed. It's not easy, but it's powerful.
  • JoshTriplett 9y ago
    I've been in technical meetings with senior technical people who were the type to attempt to ram a point through, and blast anyone they see as in the way. If you're going to disagree with them, there are two approaches that can succeed. One is to blast back with greater force, and win by force of personality. (That doesn't leave much information for the bystanders, or the decision-makers, to go on.) And the other is to be right, know you're right, lay out the case and evidence, and generate a stark contrast between the loud yelling person and the person with all the evidence on their side. And all of a sudden the person who was previously accepted as the stereotypical "gruff guru" starts to look a lot less reasonable. It's absolutely harder. But when you're successful with it, you also start to disarm people like that, and get others to seek you out instead of them.
• BeetleB 9y ago
  >How does author solve the problem of being kind, other people mistaking it for weakness and taking advantage of it?  I think you mean attempt to take advantage of it. I would assume the author would respond with "Kindly correct them." 
• deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
• deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]