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It's simple: with a polyamorous relationship, your wife would have another boyfriend/husband to spend her time with, and also to help take care of the kid, leav

It's simple: with a polyamorous relationship, your wife would have another boyfriend/husband to spend her time with, and also to help take care of the kid, leaving you alone more of the time with the cats. There's no requirement in polyamory for everyone involved to have multiple partners.

pavel_lishin 9y ago
I think polyamory might work fine for some, but giving it out as a blanket suggestion is asinine. My wife's an introvert, too - she doesn't want another husband, either. Other people to take care of the kid would be fantastic, but traditionally that's done by the extended family - grandparents, siblings, etc.
- gorkonsine 9y ago
  Do you two not have any other friends? You don't even have to have sex with other people: add up all the time you spend taking care of kids without any help from extended family. Now imagine you join up with another couple just like you that you're great friends with, and you move in together into a bigger house, each couple with their own master bedroom. Now you have 4 adults taking care of all the kids, as well as doing household chores. Is it not obvious how this is useful? As for extended family, what if they suck? A lot of people don't get along with their extended family. Why be stuck with your blood relatives when you can choose the people you live with instead?
  - pavel_lishin 9y ago
    > join up with another couple just like you that you're great friends with, and you move in together into a bigger house, each couple with their own master bedroom Yes, because we've lived with roommates as a married couple. As an introvert, again, this kind of sucks. And I don't choose to live with my extended family, either.
    - gorkonsine 9y ago
      If you'd rather have less time to yourself, then that's a perfectly acceptable choice. As an introvert myself, I'd rather have more people to share household and child-care activities with, because that would increase the amount of time I have for other pursuits. I don't have kids myself, but I know people who do and the amount of time they spend dealing with them is incredible. I do have a house though, and even there the amount of time I spend on upkeep, repairs, cleaning, and cooking is significant. Having roommates I have little emotional connection to has pluses and minuses: you can share some of the expenses and household duties (if they're good roommates), but the minus of having less privacy kinda sucks. But if you're closer friends than that, it's not such a problem and is actually a benefit by having more emotional support nearby. Also, with more incomes you can afford a bigger house (since house size does not scale linearly with bedrooms; bathrooms and kitchens are the most expensive rooms by far), and this gives you more space than you can afford on your own.
- mercutio2 9y ago
  It sounds like you’re thinking polyamory is a requirement. In any world derived from our own, polyamory would be allowed, not required. If you’re worried you’d be judged harshly for raising a child with only two parents, as many on this thread are judging single moms... well, you’re probably right. But maybe that’s an argument for a little more support for everyone, not for less support for the more-than-two-grown-ups-per-household folks?

pavel_lishin 9y ago

I think polyamory might work fine for some, but giving it out as a blanket suggestion is asinine. My wife's an introvert, too - she doesn't want another husband, either. Other people to take care of the kid would be fantastic, but traditionally that's done by the extended family - grandparents, siblings, etc.

gorkonsine 9y ago
Do you two not have any other friends? You don't even have to have sex with other people: add up all the time you spend taking care of kids without any help from extended family. Now imagine you join up with another couple just like you that you're great friends with, and you move in together into a bigger house, each couple with their own master bedroom. Now you have 4 adults taking care of all the kids, as well as doing household chores. Is it not obvious how this is useful? As for extended family, what if they suck? A lot of people don't get along with their extended family. Why be stuck with your blood relatives when you can choose the people you live with instead?
- pavel_lishin 9y ago
  > join up with another couple just like you that you're great friends with, and you move in together into a bigger house, each couple with their own master bedroom Yes, because we've lived with roommates as a married couple. As an introvert, again, this kind of sucks. And I don't choose to live with my extended family, either.
  - gorkonsine 9y ago
    If you'd rather have less time to yourself, then that's a perfectly acceptable choice. As an introvert myself, I'd rather have more people to share household and child-care activities with, because that would increase the amount of time I have for other pursuits. I don't have kids myself, but I know people who do and the amount of time they spend dealing with them is incredible. I do have a house though, and even there the amount of time I spend on upkeep, repairs, cleaning, and cooking is significant. Having roommates I have little emotional connection to has pluses and minuses: you can share some of the expenses and household duties (if they're good roommates), but the minus of having less privacy kinda sucks. But if you're closer friends than that, it's not such a problem and is actually a benefit by having more emotional support nearby. Also, with more incomes you can afford a bigger house (since house size does not scale linearly with bedrooms; bathrooms and kitchens are the most expensive rooms by far), and this gives you more space than you can afford on your own.
mercutio2 9y ago
It sounds like you’re thinking polyamory is a requirement. In any world derived from our own, polyamory would be allowed, not required. If you’re worried you’d be judged harshly for raising a child with only two parents, as many on this thread are judging single moms... well, you’re probably right. But maybe that’s an argument for a little more support for everyone, not for less support for the more-than-two-grown-ups-per-household folks?