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> If you're happy, and if you honestly don't think you have a problem after some serious introspection, then you don't have a problem. See here's where we disa

> If you're happy, and if you honestly don't think you have a problem after some serious introspection, then you don't have a problem. See here's where we disagree. Alcohol is extraordinarily addictive. I have begun to believe that I'm not living my life the "the way [I] want to," but am convinced through conditioning and social norms that this is the "good life" or whatever. Nobody is living a "good life" with 6+ drinks a night, particularly in the way I do. Alone, at a laptop, working until 3 a.m. There's a difference between a casual/social drinker and a habitual drinker. The latter will - via addiction - attempt to justify our drinking. And let me also say that you're right - we may be in the same boat but perhaps I'm at the bow and you're at the stern. For a long time I didn't even think about my drinking. I'd drink occasionally. Then semi-regularly. Then every day but I was 25 so who cares that's what we do. One day you wake up and you have a wife and family and you're still drinking like a college sophomore. Again, all of this would be fine if I were just a functional alcoholic and that were the end of the repercussions. But this is physically destructive behavior. It's the kind of thing you don't really consider until you start to get a bit older.

hug 9y ago
I don't really want to offer unsolicited advice to a stranger on the Internet. That's not my place and it's not me. But it sounds like you're telling me that you're not okay with your drinking, and maybe you haven't been for a while. It sounds to me like you're an inch away from saying "I have a problem with alcohol". You should talk this over with someone close to you, whose advice you value.
- nkozyra 9y ago
  My message is it's a very thin line. And one day you go from "this is fine" to "whoa, hold on." The longer you hang onto justifications for heavy drinking, the easier it is to cross that line. You can offer any advice you like, my issue is no longer recognition of the problem. I'm working hard at fixing this. My purpose in engaging is to let you know that often it's hard to recognize where you are on the spectrum. Your perfectly fine situation today may reveal itself to be less than ok in the near future. That's what happened with me. Edit: and as you described, I can still drink 6-8-10 drinks until the early morning and be perfectly fine the next day. The effects of drinking are cumulative and not always easy to see on a daily basis, particularly when you get to the point where there's little acute effect from a night of drinking. I don't really get hangovers anymore, so it's easy to say "hey, it's fine, my life is going as it should and I feel ok."
  - dmichulke 9y ago
    This is by far the most reasonable and calm discussion I read in a long time on HN, and it's being had - of all people - by two self-declared alcoholics about alcoholism. I wish you the best, you seem to be really cool people and I hope your life will be as good as you want it to be.
    - hug 9y ago
      If you're ever in Melbourne, let me know. I'll buy you a beer, or your favourite non-alcoholic non-judgemental beverage of choice.
  - johndoez 9y ago
    The fact that you don't get hangovers is part of the problem. If you did, you wouldn't be able to drink and function the next day. Did you ever get hangovers?
    - nkozyra 9y ago
      Of course. Over time they got milder and now it's basically nothing. I don't think this is unusual[1] [1] http://www.the-alcoholism-guide.org/alcoholism-stages.html http://www.the-alcoholism-guide.org/alcoholism-stages.html >> Many at this alcoholism stage are able to drink a lot and not appear drunk at all. >> Often those in the first stage do not get hangovers.

hug 9y ago

I don't really want to offer unsolicited advice to a stranger on the Internet. That's not my place and it's not me. But it sounds like you're telling me that you're not okay with your drinking, and maybe you haven't been for a while. It sounds to me like you're an inch away from saying "I have a problem with alcohol". You should talk this over with someone close to you, whose advice you value.

nkozyra 9y ago
My message is it's a very thin line. And one day you go from "this is fine" to "whoa, hold on." The longer you hang onto justifications for heavy drinking, the easier it is to cross that line. You can offer any advice you like, my issue is no longer recognition of the problem. I'm working hard at fixing this. My purpose in engaging is to let you know that often it's hard to recognize where you are on the spectrum. Your perfectly fine situation today may reveal itself to be less than ok in the near future. That's what happened with me. Edit: and as you described, I can still drink 6-8-10 drinks until the early morning and be perfectly fine the next day. The effects of drinking are cumulative and not always easy to see on a daily basis, particularly when you get to the point where there's little acute effect from a night of drinking. I don't really get hangovers anymore, so it's easy to say "hey, it's fine, my life is going as it should and I feel ok."
- dmichulke 9y ago
  This is by far the most reasonable and calm discussion I read in a long time on HN, and it's being had - of all people - by two self-declared alcoholics about alcoholism. I wish you the best, you seem to be really cool people and I hope your life will be as good as you want it to be.
  - hug 9y ago
    If you're ever in Melbourne, let me know. I'll buy you a beer, or your favourite non-alcoholic non-judgemental beverage of choice.
- johndoez 9y ago
  The fact that you don't get hangovers is part of the problem. If you did, you wouldn't be able to drink and function the next day. Did you ever get hangovers?
  - nkozyra 9y ago
    Of course. Over time they got milder and now it's basically nothing. I don't think this is unusual[1] [1] http://www.the-alcoholism-guide.org/alcoholism-stages.html http://www.the-alcoholism-guide.org/alcoholism-stages.html >> Many at this alcoholism stage are able to drink a lot and not appear drunk at all. >> Often those in the first stage do not get hangovers.