4 ms·

Wow, this is wild to me. At first I thought this was only in a professional context, but it's not. I cannot believe a plurality of people think that having dinn

Wow, this is wild to me. At first I thought this was only in a professional context, but it's not. I cannot believe a plurality of people think that having dinner 1-on-1 with someone of the opposite sex is inappropriate if they're not in a relationship. I have friends of the opposite gender and it's pretty normal for us to catch up over dinner.

gpawl 9y ago
Are you married? I expect opposition to 1:1 dinners is higher among married couples.
oh_sigh 9y ago
I wonder how this study was conducted...if the questioner was asking questions about dating, attraction, etc before this question got asked, it may have primed the respondents to view the dinner as a romantic one.
istorical 9y ago
There's a chilling effect with regards to beliefs that fall outside the Overton Window. As norms change within a group, those who hold beliefs outside the Overton Window can become afraid to express those beliefs, and that leads to people simply not even comprehending another group's views. How did Trump get elected president? Why didn't we see it coming? This is what the people in my Manhattan office were thinking the day after the election. On the other hand, family members from Nebraska were laughing and asking how the coastal elite "didn't get it". We aren't talking because we can't disagree without falling out with each other. I expect the same is true of sexual norms, dating norms, social norms, norms about drugs and alcohol, etc. Generationally, the Snapchat generation probably has no idea what those growing up in the 1940s believed, and those who were teenagers during the American sexual revolution of the 1960s would probably be surprised by the way teens date and have sex today. We have vague ideas and notions but how many of us have had 30+ min conversations about these topics with people who are from a far off generation? No one communicates and I believe historians of the future will feel it's an enormous tragedy that we don't have better surveys and public records of personal beliefs in areas that are controversial or highly personal. And more than just 'what do you believe', but 'what are the circumstances that led you to have those beliefs, what were the consequences around your actions that influenced those beliefs', etc.

gpawl 9y ago

Are you married? I expect opposition to 1:1 dinners is higher among married couples.

oh_sigh 9y ago

I wonder how this study was conducted...if the questioner was asking questions about dating, attraction, etc before this question got asked, it may have primed the respondents to view the dinner as a romantic one.

istorical 9y ago

There's a chilling effect with regards to beliefs that fall outside the Overton Window. As norms change within a group, those who hold beliefs outside the Overton Window can become afraid to express those beliefs, and that leads to people simply not even comprehending another group's views. How did Trump get elected president? Why didn't we see it coming? This is what the people in my Manhattan office were thinking the day after the election. On the other hand, family members from Nebraska were laughing and asking how the coastal elite "didn't get it". We aren't talking because we can't disagree without falling out with each other. I expect the same is true of sexual norms, dating norms, social norms, norms about drugs and alcohol, etc. Generationally, the Snapchat generation probably has no idea what those growing up in the 1940s believed, and those who were teenagers during the American sexual revolution of the 1960s would probably be surprised by the way teens date and have sex today. We have vague ideas and notions but how many of us have had 30+ min conversations about these topics with people who are from a far off generation? No one communicates and I believe historians of the future will feel it's an enormous tragedy that we don't have better surveys and public records of personal beliefs in areas that are controversial or highly personal. And more than just 'what do you believe', but 'what are the circumstances that led you to have those beliefs, what were the consequences around your actions that influenced those beliefs', etc.