5 ms·

I'm a startup founder and I had sex with an investor

66 points by gpark3 9y ago

alistproducer2 9y ago
So some how the investor is still painted as at fault here? It's not like this dude was her boss and by her in admission the guy was lording "I'm an investor" over her head. Got to be honest, this piece feels like extended click bait.
- gpark3 9y ago
  i totally agree on this.
mongmong 9y ago
Found this very interesting and brutally honest in the details around the circumstances of the consensual night out (she mentioned several times that the meeting being purely business was all made up in her head) and her equally honest opinion on what happened to Cheryl Yeoh (she doesn't agree that was assault). Pity how a personal account with no clear villain or wrong doing is not getting much attention as it deserves, she is being very honest here and leaving herself vulnerable to being called both a SJW and a traitor to other women. I appreciate her honesty and complicated analysis of her own motivations and subsequent reactions.
- girvo 9y ago
  Being moderate on these topics seems to invite scorn from all "sides". Can't win, really.
  - RonanTheGrey 9y ago
    Nope. And there's a large and growing group who self-silence (or even.. censor) because being moderate attracts as much vitriol as taking a side - because BOTH sides attack. I don't get why saying "Many issues are complex" is some kind of war crime.
3uh5weutwehow 9y ago
Unroll.me: You stole peoples mail spools and sold them to the opposition. Selling peoples lyft receipts to Uber -- you should be ashamed of yourself and the legacy of violation that you left in your wake. To me -- this is one of the worst abuses of peoples trust that they granted to you. You are scum. I have no sympathy for any of your antics or tales.
- walrus01 9y ago
  for those who are not aware of what 3uh is posting: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/24/technology/personal-data-firm-slice-unroll-me-backlash-uber.html https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/24/technology/personal-data-... https://theintercept.com/2017/04/24/stop-using-unroll-me-right-now-it-sold-your-data-to-uber/ https://theintercept.com/2017/04/24/stop-using-unroll-me-rig... yeah, lady, you're pretty low on the ethics totem pole right now. Not too surprised honestly from somebody who used to be a headhunter/recruiter.
- burntrelish1273 9y ago
  Thanks for bringing this up. Too often, Valley gossip, masquerading as news, is merely which people are friendly with reporters/bloggers and the resulting pieces are usually lazy journalism and one-sided.
  - bethebutterfly 9y ago
    I commented on this below...
CyberFonic 9y ago
In Hollywood it is the casting couch. In Washington and on Wall St it is business as usual. So why should a startup be any different?
bethebutterfly 9y ago
So... I'll chime in if you guys want to talk to me. First, I left unroll.me in 2012 so blame whatever ethics you want but I had nothing to do with that. Second, this post is about female responsibility in the ecosystem. Clearly you guys, except one of you, didn't read the whole post. I posted it on Medium. I know no journalists. The editor in chief of BI reached out to me and said it was one of the best pieces she has seen on this topic, can they run it. So ask away. I'm all ears
- 3uh5weutwehow 9y ago
  thank you for clarifying that you were not connected to the abuses of the unroll.me platform. My anger is directed at the responsible parties, and I apologize if I have offended you. If what you worked hard to build was twisted and abused by others then that is truly a painful thing. may you find peace
  - swivelmaster 9y ago
    You may want to edit your original comment.
  - acchow 9y ago
    Please edit your original comment. Particularly, remove the blame on her and the calling her "scum"
- matuszeg 9y ago
  No questions. Just wanted to say I enjoyed what you wrote, particularly how honest you were. The part about how you had assumed expectations for the meeting that he had not been explicitly aware of was a breath fresh air as I read it. We as people often forget others may not be reading a situation the same as we are. To see it from the others perspective is important. I did get angry reading about you using your "femininity" as an advantage during your recruiting days. And I would like to offer this analogy. A women using her sexuality as leverage over a man for a career advantage is akin to a man using his career as leverage over a women for sexual advantage. I see them as nearly the same, because men generally hold the chips in the professional world and women hold it in the dating world. And using that as leverage against another is wrong on both sides. But I kinda got the feeling you were starting to agree with that. Maybe you do maybe you do not. I appreciate the honesty either way.
laughfactory 9y ago
Wait, wait, wait. She was married and a mother when she had consensual sex with this investor, and explicitly one who would not be investing in her company? And her husband didn't leave her? Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I was too distracted by that to pay attention to the rest of the article. Bottom line is if you don't want to cheat on your spouse, don't hang out with the opposite sex one on one--especially if there's alcohol in the mix.
- dmeeker 9y ago
  I had the same thought, but then I reminded myself that there have been several years between 2011 and today. She's married now (for less than a year), not when the events described take place.
yanes 9y ago
This seems like a good and thoughtful article to me. I don't know why some people are hating

66 points by gpark3 9y ago

So some how the investor is still painted as at fault here? It's not like this dude was her boss and by her in admission the guy was lording "I'm an investor" over her head. Got to be honest, this piece feels like extended click bait.

gpark3 9y ago
i totally agree on this.

mongmong 9y ago

Found this very interesting and brutally honest in the details around the circumstances of the consensual night out (she mentioned several times that the meeting being purely business was all made up in her head) and her equally honest opinion on what happened to Cheryl Yeoh (she doesn't agree that was assault). Pity how a personal account with no clear villain or wrong doing is not getting much attention as it deserves, she is being very honest here and leaving herself vulnerable to being called both a SJW and a traitor to other women. I appreciate her honesty and complicated analysis of her own motivations and subsequent reactions.

girvo 9y ago
Being moderate on these topics seems to invite scorn from all "sides". Can't win, really.
- RonanTheGrey 9y ago
  Nope. And there's a large and growing group who self-silence (or even.. censor) because being moderate attracts as much vitriol as taking a side - because BOTH sides attack. I don't get why saying "Many issues are complex" is some kind of war crime.

3uh5weutwehow 9y ago

Unroll.me: You stole peoples mail spools and sold them to the opposition. Selling peoples lyft receipts to Uber -- you should be ashamed of yourself and the legacy of violation that you left in your wake. To me -- this is one of the worst abuses of peoples trust that they granted to you. You are scum. I have no sympathy for any of your antics or tales.

walrus01 9y ago
for those who are not aware of what 3uh is posting: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/24/technology/personal-data-firm-slice-unroll-me-backlash-uber.html https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/24/technology/personal-data-... https://theintercept.com/2017/04/24/stop-using-unroll-me-right-now-it-sold-your-data-to-uber/ https://theintercept.com/2017/04/24/stop-using-unroll-me-rig... yeah, lady, you're pretty low on the ethics totem pole right now. Not too surprised honestly from somebody who used to be a headhunter/recruiter.
burntrelish1273 9y ago
Thanks for bringing this up. Too often, Valley gossip, masquerading as news, is merely which people are friendly with reporters/bloggers and the resulting pieces are usually lazy journalism and one-sided.
- bethebutterfly 9y ago
  I commented on this below...

CyberFonic 9y ago

In Hollywood it is the casting couch. In Washington and on Wall St it is business as usual. So why should a startup be any different?

bethebutterfly 9y ago

So... I'll chime in if you guys want to talk to me. First, I left unroll.me in 2012 so blame whatever ethics you want but I had nothing to do with that. Second, this post is about female responsibility in the ecosystem. Clearly you guys, except one of you, didn't read the whole post. I posted it on Medium. I know no journalists. The editor in chief of BI reached out to me and said it was one of the best pieces she has seen on this topic, can they run it. So ask away. I'm all ears

3uh5weutwehow 9y ago
thank you for clarifying that you were not connected to the abuses of the unroll.me platform. My anger is directed at the responsible parties, and I apologize if I have offended you. If what you worked hard to build was twisted and abused by others then that is truly a painful thing. may you find peace
- swivelmaster 9y ago
  You may want to edit your original comment.
- acchow 9y ago
  Please edit your original comment. Particularly, remove the blame on her and the calling her "scum"
matuszeg 9y ago
No questions. Just wanted to say I enjoyed what you wrote, particularly how honest you were. The part about how you had assumed expectations for the meeting that he had not been explicitly aware of was a breath fresh air as I read it. We as people often forget others may not be reading a situation the same as we are. To see it from the others perspective is important. I did get angry reading about you using your "femininity" as an advantage during your recruiting days. And I would like to offer this analogy. A women using her sexuality as leverage over a man for a career advantage is akin to a man using his career as leverage over a women for sexual advantage. I see them as nearly the same, because men generally hold the chips in the professional world and women hold it in the dating world. And using that as leverage against another is wrong on both sides. But I kinda got the feeling you were starting to agree with that. Maybe you do maybe you do not. I appreciate the honesty either way.

laughfactory 9y ago

Wait, wait, wait. She was married and a mother when she had consensual sex with this investor, and explicitly one who would not be investing in her company? And her husband didn't leave her? Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I was too distracted by that to pay attention to the rest of the article. Bottom line is if you don't want to cheat on your spouse, don't hang out with the opposite sex one on one--especially if there's alcohol in the mix.

dmeeker 9y ago
I had the same thought, but then I reminded myself that there have been several years between 2011 and today. She's married now (for less than a year), not when the events described take place.

yanes 9y ago

This seems like a good and thoughtful article to me. I don't know why some people are hating