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My sister was a software engineer. She wasn't ever a part of those women-only developer groups. She just really liked programming. It wasn't a political stateme

by renlo 9y ago

My sister was a software engineer. She wasn't ever a part of those women-only developer groups. She just really liked programming. It wasn't a political statement, and I don't think I've ever heard her talk about 'sexism in the workplace' that everyone else seems to love to talk about. She left her engineering job to raise her children. My mother was completely against this move though because my mother (also originally a software engineer) thought it was bad form that an educated female engineer would leave the workforce and 'waste her life as a stay at home mom' (paraphrased), and that my sister needed to set a good example as a professional woman or something. I kind of think it's all silly that my mother would push for this, but I do understand it, because when my mother was a software engineer things were pretty bad. However, I think these days it's pushing the point too far.

jd75 9y ago
Of course your sister should make her own choices, but the pressure on a mom in tech to leave is still absolutely immense. The more of us who tough it out, the better for our daughters.
- renlo 9y ago
  It would be great if there was more part-time work in tech in general. Seems as though this would be something everyone (mothers, single or married men/women) could benefit from. Not to be too personal, genuinely curious, what do you hope to gain by 'toughing it out'? A better workplace for your daughters? Or to set an example or something? Coming from someone with a mother who 'toughed it out', I rarely saw my mother growing up, and only really saw her when she became a consultant much later.
  - jd75 9y ago
    I enjoy making things with code. I like earning a check. Why do you stay in your job? It makes me sad to think my kids will think I didn't do enough for them one day, but dads have been working full-time for ages. You're not the first person who has pressured me to go part-time, either.
    - Caveman_Coder 9y ago
      >It makes me sad to think my kids will think I didn't do enough for them one day Why do you assume they will look at your decision to stay home (I won't call it "not working" since it is arguably more stressful and difficult than working at an office) and think that you didn't do enough for them?
- Caveman_Coder 9y ago
  >The more of us who tough it out, the better for our daughters How exactly is it better for our daughters? Anecdote: My wife (software engineer) left the workforce to care for and raise our daughter and she doesn't regret her choice one bit. She says it is far more meaningful work (caring for and shaping the mind of a young child) than making money for some corporate fatcats.

by renlo 9y ago

jd75 9y ago

Of course your sister should make her own choices, but the pressure on a mom in tech to leave is still absolutely immense. The more of us who tough it out, the better for our daughters.

renlo 9y ago
It would be great if there was more part-time work in tech in general. Seems as though this would be something everyone (mothers, single or married men/women) could benefit from. Not to be too personal, genuinely curious, what do you hope to gain by 'toughing it out'? A better workplace for your daughters? Or to set an example or something? Coming from someone with a mother who 'toughed it out', I rarely saw my mother growing up, and only really saw her when she became a consultant much later.
- jd75 9y ago
  I enjoy making things with code. I like earning a check. Why do you stay in your job? It makes me sad to think my kids will think I didn't do enough for them one day, but dads have been working full-time for ages. You're not the first person who has pressured me to go part-time, either.
  - Caveman_Coder 9y ago
    >It makes me sad to think my kids will think I didn't do enough for them one day Why do you assume they will look at your decision to stay home (I won't call it "not working" since it is arguably more stressful and difficult than working at an office) and think that you didn't do enough for them?
Caveman_Coder 9y ago
>The more of us who tough it out, the better for our daughters How exactly is it better for our daughters? Anecdote: My wife (software engineer) left the workforce to care for and raise our daughter and she doesn't regret her choice one bit. She says it is far more meaningful work (caring for and shaping the mind of a young child) than making money for some corporate fatcats.