Except I didn't hold the view that being gay was a negative thing, rather I had gotten so used to the terms being thrown around that I used them in that way des

Except I didn't hold the view that being gay was a negative thing, rather I had gotten so used to the terms being thrown around that I used them in that way despite not agreeing with that. It's similar to how I can use "dumb" to describe someone as stupid without believing that people who can't speak are stupid. I meant to insult the person (and if I'd chosen another word, that would have been fine as it was clearly intended as a friendly, joking thing), but I didn't intend to imply that being gay was a bad thing. It's a fine line that mostly relies on knowing my own intent - and I make no reservations in stating that whatever my intent, I know I caused harm at the time and I actively worked to ensure that I don't use "gay" and "fag" in that way, because it does have those effects.