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This article and thread have been fascinating to me. I am from NZ, so maybe this is a US-cultural thing? The idea that getting a drink with a women-not-your-sp
by SCdF 9y ago
This article and thread have been fascinating to me. I am from NZ, so maybe this is a US-cultural thing?
The idea that getting a drink with a women-not-your-spouse being inappropriate is so crazy and weird to me! Do you not have female friends? How do you spend time with them?
- learc83 9y agoIf you're married or in a relationship in NZ, your spouse is fine with you getting drunk alone with someone of the opposite sex?
- SCdF 9y agoYou can't drink without getting drunk? (To answer your main question though: I'm OK with it, maybe that's just me though. I know we are a small nation but I don't know everyone.) Edit: Since we're on the subject, I just spent a week living in an AirBNB apartment with a female work colleague (work meetup in a different city). Just us two. Before this thread I didn't even think that was weird. Americans: is that weird?
- learc83 9y agoBad phrasing. Do you think the average New Zealander is ok with their spouse going out for drinks alone with someone of the opposite sex? I'm pretty sure that most Americans wouldn't like that, and I think jealousy and insecurity are pretty common among humans of all countries. About the AirBNB thing--it's pretty context dependant. If you are both single and working for a small startup and you did it voluntarily, I think most Most Americans under 40 wouldn't find it too weird. If you're working for a large company, or your startup made you share, I think most of us would think it's strange. If you're in relationships, I don't know very many people who would be fine with their spouse/SO doing it.
- SCdF 9y agoSo I think they would be, but yeah, I can only really speak for myself. I have rolled back through my memory, and I have had drinks with women alone before, though not much, but probably as many times as I've had drinks with guys alone before. I just asked my SO and she is OK with it, and thinks people here (we live in London now) would think similarly. > I think jealousy and insecurity are pretty common among humans of all countries. So right, this is interesting! To be clear: if my SO went out for drinks with a guy from work I probably would be jealous and insecure about it, at least a little bit. But that's my failing, not hers, and is for me to get over. It's not fair for me to stop her from chilling out with a friend just because said friend is a dude. So maybe that's the main difference?
- learc83 9y agoThe thing is most people realize that their SO would be bothered by it, and won't do it. He/or she doesn't have to freak out and demand you stop to be "not OK with it". You clearly wouldn't be OK with your SO doing this despite saying you are, and she'd likely pick up on your feelings.
- swiley 9y agoMan my ex kept doing stuff Like that before she cheated on me! I wanted to trust her but I don't think I will do that again. I knew it was weird and I should have put my foot down when it started.
- ionised 9y agoDon't let one bad experience make you irrationally paranoid.
- ryandrake 9y agoI'm an American (male) and I find it crazy as well. I don't see anything inappropriate about any of the topics in that graph, although the work meeting strikes me as "risky" rather than "inappropriate". Reading this article feels like I'm reading about space aliens rather than my fellow human beings.