6 ms·

Two surprises about this article: 1 - 25% of women think it's inappropriate to have a work meeting with a man. 2 - 41% of men think it's appropriate to have a d

Two surprises about this article: 1 - 25% of women think it's inappropriate to have a work meeting with a man. 2 - 41% of men think it's appropriate to have a drink one-on-one with a women.

swiley 9y ago
Yeah the drink thing is definitely inappropriate.
- speedplane 9y ago
  There are a lot of ways it could be made appropriate, e.g., group setting, a long work-history together, very equal power dynamic. But the idea of a superior bringing out a female for a drink one-on-one is almost certainly a recipe for disaster. Go for lunch, coffee, or a game of golf instead.
  - detaro 9y ago
    At least as it's presented in the article, the question wasn't about a superior or just a work colleague at all, but about any man/woman?
  - tluyben2 9y ago
    You are talking about a superior; then you have to be a bit more careful. What if equal colleagues? I cannot why that is a problem. It is just a drink.
    - speedplane 9y ago
      In theory, I agree, but in practice, no two are exactly equal. Even if they have the same title, some have more influence, connections, respect. And if it's just a drink, that's totally fine too. The concern is that if one, the other, or both become intoxicated, it may become more. The solution isn't hard, bring a buddy with you, or do something that doesn't involve drinking.
      - tluyben2 9y ago
        But what is so bad about drinking particular? It might be a cultural difference again, but really nothing goes on here with an afterwork drink...
- SCdF 9y ago
  This article and thread have been fascinating to me. I am from NZ, so maybe this is a US-cultural thing? The idea that getting a drink with a women-not-your-spouse being inappropriate is so crazy and weird to me! Do you not have female friends? How do you spend time with them?
  - learc83 9y ago
    If you're married or in a relationship in NZ, your spouse is fine with you getting drunk alone with someone of the opposite sex?
    - SCdF 9y ago
      You can't drink without getting drunk? (To answer your main question though: I'm OK with it, maybe that's just me though. I know we are a small nation but I don't know everyone.) Edit: Since we're on the subject, I just spent a week living in an AirBNB apartment with a female work colleague (work meetup in a different city). Just us two. Before this thread I didn't even think that was weird. Americans: is that weird?
      - learc83 9y ago
        Bad phrasing. Do you think the average New Zealander is ok with their spouse going out for drinks alone with someone of the opposite sex? I'm pretty sure that most Americans wouldn't like that, and I think jealousy and insecurity are pretty common among humans of all countries. About the AirBNB thing--it's pretty context dependant. If you are both single and working for a small startup and you did it voluntarily, I think most Most Americans under 40 wouldn't find it too weird. If you're working for a large company, or your startup made you share, I think most of us would think it's strange. If you're in relationships, I don't know very many people who would be fine with their spouse/SO doing it.
        SCdF 9y ago
        So I think they would be, but yeah, I can only really speak for myself. I have rolled back through my memory, and I have had drinks with women alone before, though not much, but probably as many times as I've had drinks with guys alone before. I just asked my SO and she is OK with it, and thinks people here (we live in London now) would think similarly. > I think jealousy and insecurity are pretty common among humans of all countries. So right, this is interesting! To be clear: if my SO went out for drinks with a guy from work I probably would be jealous and insecure about it, at least a little bit. But that's my failing, not hers, and is for me to get over. It's not fair for me to stop her from chilling out with a friend just because said friend is a dude. So maybe that's the main difference?
- ionised 9y ago
  Why is it inappropriate?

Two surprises about this article: 1 - 25% of women think it's inappropriate to have a work meeting with a man. 2 - 41% of men think it's appropriate to have a drink one-on-one with a women.

swiley 9y ago

Yeah the drink thing is definitely inappropriate.

speedplane 9y ago
There are a lot of ways it could be made appropriate, e.g., group setting, a long work-history together, very equal power dynamic. But the idea of a superior bringing out a female for a drink one-on-one is almost certainly a recipe for disaster. Go for lunch, coffee, or a game of golf instead.
- detaro 9y ago
  At least as it's presented in the article, the question wasn't about a superior or just a work colleague at all, but about any man/woman?
- tluyben2 9y ago
  You are talking about a superior; then you have to be a bit more careful. What if equal colleagues? I cannot why that is a problem. It is just a drink.
  - speedplane 9y ago
    In theory, I agree, but in practice, no two are exactly equal. Even if they have the same title, some have more influence, connections, respect. And if it's just a drink, that's totally fine too. The concern is that if one, the other, or both become intoxicated, it may become more. The solution isn't hard, bring a buddy with you, or do something that doesn't involve drinking.
    - tluyben2 9y ago
      But what is so bad about drinking particular? It might be a cultural difference again, but really nothing goes on here with an afterwork drink...
SCdF 9y ago
This article and thread have been fascinating to me. I am from NZ, so maybe this is a US-cultural thing? The idea that getting a drink with a women-not-your-spouse being inappropriate is so crazy and weird to me! Do you not have female friends? How do you spend time with them?
- learc83 9y ago
  If you're married or in a relationship in NZ, your spouse is fine with you getting drunk alone with someone of the opposite sex?
  - SCdF 9y ago
    You can't drink without getting drunk? (To answer your main question though: I'm OK with it, maybe that's just me though. I know we are a small nation but I don't know everyone.) Edit: Since we're on the subject, I just spent a week living in an AirBNB apartment with a female work colleague (work meetup in a different city). Just us two. Before this thread I didn't even think that was weird. Americans: is that weird?
    - learc83 9y ago
      Bad phrasing. Do you think the average New Zealander is ok with their spouse going out for drinks alone with someone of the opposite sex? I'm pretty sure that most Americans wouldn't like that, and I think jealousy and insecurity are pretty common among humans of all countries. About the AirBNB thing--it's pretty context dependant. If you are both single and working for a small startup and you did it voluntarily, I think most Most Americans under 40 wouldn't find it too weird. If you're working for a large company, or your startup made you share, I think most of us would think it's strange. If you're in relationships, I don't know very many people who would be fine with their spouse/SO doing it.
      - SCdF 9y ago
        So I think they would be, but yeah, I can only really speak for myself. I have rolled back through my memory, and I have had drinks with women alone before, though not much, but probably as many times as I've had drinks with guys alone before. I just asked my SO and she is OK with it, and thinks people here (we live in London now) would think similarly. > I think jealousy and insecurity are pretty common among humans of all countries. So right, this is interesting! To be clear: if my SO went out for drinks with a guy from work I probably would be jealous and insecure about it, at least a little bit. But that's my failing, not hers, and is for me to get over. It's not fair for me to stop her from chilling out with a friend just because said friend is a dude. So maybe that's the main difference?
ionised 9y ago
Why is it inappropriate?