6 ms·

I recently had 4 good offers on the table at the same time and it was unbelievably stressful for me, I don't ever want to go through that again. I don't see the

I recently had 4 good offers on the table at the same time and it was unbelievably stressful for me, I don't ever want to go through that again. I don't see the value in applying to even more companies and increasing that stress further...

zabana 9y ago
Yeah I'm going through that at the moment, it's paralyzing to have to make a choice of that importance.
- dookehster 9y ago
  This book is an incredibly good book for making this kind of decision: https://www.amazon.com/How-Will-Measure-Your-Life/dp/0062102419 https://www.amazon.com/How-Will-Measure-Your-Life/dp/0062102...
billf1953 9y ago
This has to be some sort of logic fallacy. With multiple offers you are guaranteed to be able to get higher pay, more time off, and/or better working conditions. You can't see the opportunity cost for one job offer, but tradeoffs to other jobs still exist. You might still be happier more productive and better qualified for a different job at a different company.
- Zach_the_Lizard 9y ago
  This times 1000. When I took my current position, I had only one offer. I was moving cities and my response rate was lower than I'd like (some jobs explicitly requested locals), plus I had a shorter window in which to jump ships. Needless to say, I wasn't negotiating from a position of strength. A nice bump, for sure, but I could have done much better. I regret having to move so quickly. But now that I have a strong name on my resume, companies are lining up to interview me and this time around I can pit their offers against one another. Sure, having to pick companies might be slightly stressful, but knowing you got the best deal is an amazing feeling.
- geezerjay 9y ago
  > This has to be some sort of logic fallacy. Not a Devo fan, are you? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buridan's_ass https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buridan's_ass > With multiple offers you are guaranteed to be able to get higher pay, more time off, and/or better working conditions. Actually, you aren't. You are, however, free to pick one of many offers, and one of them may suit you better than the others. Perhaps you can negotiate better offers, but this doesn't mean that a potential employer may be willing to present a better counter-offer.
  - Retra 9y ago
    They don't have to be willing to present a better counter. If they don't, you just eliminate them from the pool and your decision is that much easier. If you are afraid to do that, then the multiple offers are only illusory anyway, since you would clearly have a preference you should be acting on.
    - geezerjay 9y ago
      > If they don't, you just eliminate them from the pool and your decision is that much easier. You're somehow assuming that salary is the only relevant parameter in choosing a job, or even that all jobs are equivalent in career growth and creating more job opportunities. Some jobs are dead-ends and career killers, even if they pay more. This sort of stuff needs to be considered.
- andrewingram 9y ago
  I've been able to negotiate 5-10k increase on offers, and improved contracts whilst unemployed and without any competing offers, i've never felt the need to play companies off each other. Being candid has served me well and makes me feel a lot better about myself than trying to play salesman. I benefit from a lot of privilege and circumstance, but any company making me an offer probably knows that not having another offer right now doesn't weaken my hand, at any moment i'm only a few days away from another offer if I really want it. So yeah, I suffer from anxiety-related issues, I'm going to choose the route of less stress.
JCDenton2052 9y ago
Breaking down offers into pros and cons and comparing them against each other really helps. But you need to have a clear idea of what you are looking for and more importantly, what your dealbreakers are.
- andrewingram 9y ago
  I did all that, and it was very stressful :) Basically, all 4 options had variables that appealed to me, and there was no clear winner. The fundamental issue was that my dream job doesn't appear to exist in London right now, the kinds of things I want to work on all seem to require moving to either SF or NY. So I was essentially having to work out which job would most progress my skillset and experience for 2-3 years from now.
dahart 9y ago
I don't know why you got downvotes for that, but I agree and have had similar experience - multiple offers are very stressful for me. The pay and PTO are usually secondary concerns. Usually it's more stressful because I get job offers through my network, and when I turn down offers I'm also turning down one of my friends who's gotten really excited for me to come work with them. Also it gets more stressful when the better job for me pays less than a job I dont want as much, making it harder to decide. With only a few offers, you take them all seriously and spend time evaluating which ones will lead to a more fulfilling life, not just which ones pay more. But... I bet the author is right about this mass application technique lowering his stress. He's gaming the system and not applying through his network, there's no great reason to care deeply about any of the offers, and he has so many offers that it's not risky to mess some of them up. You get to be detached and learn more about the application process by doing dozens of them at once. It reminds me of this Moth podcast story about the guy who data mined for dates on OK cupid. https://themoth.org/stories/data-mining-for-dates https://themoth.org/stories/data-mining-for-dates Worth the listen, but he reported being a lot less invested in individual dates, and seeing interesting patterns in the process. It did add some stress, but a different kind of stress than he had with one-date-at-a-time.
- andrewingram 9y ago
  In my case, two of the offers were from my network/friends. One was as the only developer for an exciting pre-incubator startup (I would still have been taking a decent salary), and another was for a company who gave me a decent offer and the head of engineering reached out to me personally whilst I was deliberating to offer some very kind words. The end result was that in all 4 cases I ended up caring about the people i'd be disappointing if I turned down the offer. So you're right that maybe the mass approach is better for avoiding this feeling, although it's hard to imagine taking it unless I was already out of work and could invest the time in such a high number of potential interviews.

zabana 9y ago

Yeah I'm going through that at the moment, it's paralyzing to have to make a choice of that importance.

dookehster 9y ago
This book is an incredibly good book for making this kind of decision: https://www.amazon.com/How-Will-Measure-Your-Life/dp/0062102419 https://www.amazon.com/How-Will-Measure-Your-Life/dp/0062102...

billf1953 9y ago

This has to be some sort of logic fallacy. With multiple offers you are guaranteed to be able to get higher pay, more time off, and/or better working conditions. You can't see the opportunity cost for one job offer, but tradeoffs to other jobs still exist. You might still be happier more productive and better qualified for a different job at a different company.

Zach_the_Lizard 9y ago
This times 1000. When I took my current position, I had only one offer. I was moving cities and my response rate was lower than I'd like (some jobs explicitly requested locals), plus I had a shorter window in which to jump ships. Needless to say, I wasn't negotiating from a position of strength. A nice bump, for sure, but I could have done much better. I regret having to move so quickly. But now that I have a strong name on my resume, companies are lining up to interview me and this time around I can pit their offers against one another. Sure, having to pick companies might be slightly stressful, but knowing you got the best deal is an amazing feeling.
geezerjay 9y ago
> This has to be some sort of logic fallacy. Not a Devo fan, are you? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buridan's_ass https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buridan's_ass > With multiple offers you are guaranteed to be able to get higher pay, more time off, and/or better working conditions. Actually, you aren't. You are, however, free to pick one of many offers, and one of them may suit you better than the others. Perhaps you can negotiate better offers, but this doesn't mean that a potential employer may be willing to present a better counter-offer.
- Retra 9y ago
  They don't have to be willing to present a better counter. If they don't, you just eliminate them from the pool and your decision is that much easier. If you are afraid to do that, then the multiple offers are only illusory anyway, since you would clearly have a preference you should be acting on.
  - geezerjay 9y ago
    > If they don't, you just eliminate them from the pool and your decision is that much easier. You're somehow assuming that salary is the only relevant parameter in choosing a job, or even that all jobs are equivalent in career growth and creating more job opportunities. Some jobs are dead-ends and career killers, even if they pay more. This sort of stuff needs to be considered.
andrewingram 9y ago
I've been able to negotiate 5-10k increase on offers, and improved contracts whilst unemployed and without any competing offers, i've never felt the need to play companies off each other. Being candid has served me well and makes me feel a lot better about myself than trying to play salesman. I benefit from a lot of privilege and circumstance, but any company making me an offer probably knows that not having another offer right now doesn't weaken my hand, at any moment i'm only a few days away from another offer if I really want it. So yeah, I suffer from anxiety-related issues, I'm going to choose the route of less stress.

JCDenton2052 9y ago

Breaking down offers into pros and cons and comparing them against each other really helps. But you need to have a clear idea of what you are looking for and more importantly, what your dealbreakers are.

andrewingram 9y ago
I did all that, and it was very stressful :) Basically, all 4 options had variables that appealed to me, and there was no clear winner. The fundamental issue was that my dream job doesn't appear to exist in London right now, the kinds of things I want to work on all seem to require moving to either SF or NY. So I was essentially having to work out which job would most progress my skillset and experience for 2-3 years from now.

dahart 9y ago

I don't know why you got downvotes for that, but I agree and have had similar experience - multiple offers are very stressful for me. The pay and PTO are usually secondary concerns. Usually it's more stressful because I get job offers through my network, and when I turn down offers I'm also turning down one of my friends who's gotten really excited for me to come work with them. Also it gets more stressful when the better job for me pays less than a job I dont want as much, making it harder to decide. With only a few offers, you take them all seriously and spend time evaluating which ones will lead to a more fulfilling life, not just which ones pay more. But... I bet the author is right about this mass application technique lowering his stress. He's gaming the system and not applying through his network, there's no great reason to care deeply about any of the offers, and he has so many offers that it's not risky to mess some of them up. You get to be detached and learn more about the application process by doing dozens of them at once. It reminds me of this Moth podcast story about the guy who data mined for dates on OK cupid. https://themoth.org/stories/data-mining-for-dates https://themoth.org/stories/data-mining-for-dates Worth the listen, but he reported being a lot less invested in individual dates, and seeing interesting patterns in the process. It did add some stress, but a different kind of stress than he had with one-date-at-a-time.

andrewingram 9y ago
In my case, two of the offers were from my network/friends. One was as the only developer for an exciting pre-incubator startup (I would still have been taking a decent salary), and another was for a company who gave me a decent offer and the head of engineering reached out to me personally whilst I was deliberating to offer some very kind words. The end result was that in all 4 cases I ended up caring about the people i'd be disappointing if I turned down the offer. So you're right that maybe the mass approach is better for avoiding this feeling, although it's hard to imagine taking it unless I was already out of work and could invest the time in such a high number of potential interviews.