No, this is not what this is about at all. We have reached a point where reviewers of reputable conferences will ask why a paper is not referencing unreviewed

No, this is not what this is about at all. We have reached a point where reviewers of reputable conferences will ask why a paper is not referencing unreviewed work that has been uploaded on arxiv a day before the conference deadline. This is not hyperbole, as anyone who is submitting to ICLR or NIPS can confirm. Work of certain labs is taken as established authority as soon as it hits arxiv.