5 ms·

Reading these comments makes me really depressed for the future of our society. Let me get this straight - 1. Don't go out with co-workers. 2. Don't make frien

by coss 9y ago

Reading these comments makes me really depressed for the future of our society. Let me get this straight - 1. Don't go out with co-workers. 2. Don't make friends with co-workers. 3. Def. never drink with co-workers. Have we really become this sensitive? There's a voice in me that's screaming 'fuck off' to this kind of attitude. I can't quite articulate why it infuriates me so much.

agentdrtran 9y ago
What are you talking about? You can do all of those things, just don't hit on them!
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
wyager 9y ago
All emotions must be eliminated from public interaction. All social processes must be bureaucratically authorized. Don't forget to take your Prozium and sign your consent forms.
- coss 9y ago
  :)
orthoganol 9y ago
It's really just bothersome in as much as the accusations cross into involuntary territory when in the presence of someone you are attracted to. Lingering eye contact, vibe change, getting in a cheery mood that makes you want to crack a joke (light flirting), is involuntary for most around people they are attracted to. It has nothing in common with overtly hitting on someone, yet such involuntary responses do sometimes get policed in the same way. I could see someone leveling against a man, "Your vibe changes when a pretty girl walks in." or "You make extra eye contact with her." and I have to wonder if people are indeed mixing those types of claims with the serious ones when they call out figures like Chris Sacca or McClure. If so, there should probably be a discussion...
FRex 9y ago
0. Don't tell attractive young women a bit over half your age on facebook and over drinks that they're sexy and you're not sure if you should hire them or hit on them if you are a person in charge in a company in an industry that is underrepresented among women.
neutronicus 9y ago
Given the economic opportunities at stake, it's probably most equitable for the high-tech workplace to be stiff and formal, so that everyone involved feels equally dislocated from their comfort zone. If you're used to the workplace mimicking the conventions of subcultures you belong to, the transition will be a drag, but, if you're alienated from the dominant workplace subculture, probably a breath of fresh air.
- solatic 9y ago
  > stiff and formal Maybe people should wear suits and ties then. You know, to make it abundantly clear that the workplace is a stiff and formal environment. Corporate leadership is responsible for setting tone in the workplace, and the ethos that has been paraded in Silicon Valley since its birth is that everyone is a friendly collaborator, that ideas and people flow freely from company to company, as if in a casual manner, and the dress code reflected that. Turning anything in SV into "stiff and formal" goes against SV's cultural soul.
  - nulldev 9y ago
    > Maybe people should wear suits and ties then. You know, to make it abundantly clear that the workplace is a stiff and formal environment. Suits and ties are a step in the right direction, but I think what many of us would really like to see are non-gendered company uniforms along with well defined personal style guidelines (hair, makeup, et al)
chasing 9y ago
That's what you've taken from all of this? Don't drink with co-workers? I don't think that's what's causing the outrage, here...
- thatswrong0 9y ago
  I'm pretty sure OP is referring to a bunch of other comments here that were saying those exact things - that to avoid such a situations from arising in the first place, refrain from doing anything non-work related with coworkers. Which is all hilarious to me because I'm friends with a lot of my coworkers, drink with them, and even have had the audacity to casually (and mutually) flirt with a couple of them. Based on what I've been reading in these comments, my career ought to be crumbling down by now. I think some commenters are focusing too much on the non-professional aspect and not enough on the power-imbalance aspect presented in some of these cases.
nulldev 9y ago
I also encourage you to avoid direct eye contact with coworkers. It helps maintain a firm barrier between the professional and personal space. Also, consider adopting the middle-english pronouns 'thou' and 'thee' when referring to colleagues, and if a specific identifier is required you should default to using their mailbox address (e.g. jane.smith or dustin.bieber).

by coss 9y ago

agentdrtran 9y ago

What are you talking about? You can do all of those things, just don't hit on them!

deleted 9y ago
[deleted]

wyager 9y ago

All emotions must be eliminated from public interaction. All social processes must be bureaucratically authorized. Don't forget to take your Prozium and sign your consent forms.

coss 9y ago
:)

orthoganol 9y ago

It's really just bothersome in as much as the accusations cross into involuntary territory when in the presence of someone you are attracted to. Lingering eye contact, vibe change, getting in a cheery mood that makes you want to crack a joke (light flirting), is involuntary for most around people they are attracted to. It has nothing in common with overtly hitting on someone, yet such involuntary responses do sometimes get policed in the same way. I could see someone leveling against a man, "Your vibe changes when a pretty girl walks in." or "You make extra eye contact with her." and I have to wonder if people are indeed mixing those types of claims with the serious ones when they call out figures like Chris Sacca or McClure. If so, there should probably be a discussion...

FRex 9y ago

0. Don't tell attractive young women a bit over half your age on facebook and over drinks that they're sexy and you're not sure if you should hire them or hit on them if you are a person in charge in a company in an industry that is underrepresented among women.

neutronicus 9y ago

Given the economic opportunities at stake, it's probably most equitable for the high-tech workplace to be stiff and formal, so that everyone involved feels equally dislocated from their comfort zone. If you're used to the workplace mimicking the conventions of subcultures you belong to, the transition will be a drag, but, if you're alienated from the dominant workplace subculture, probably a breath of fresh air.

solatic 9y ago
> stiff and formal Maybe people should wear suits and ties then. You know, to make it abundantly clear that the workplace is a stiff and formal environment. Corporate leadership is responsible for setting tone in the workplace, and the ethos that has been paraded in Silicon Valley since its birth is that everyone is a friendly collaborator, that ideas and people flow freely from company to company, as if in a casual manner, and the dress code reflected that. Turning anything in SV into "stiff and formal" goes against SV's cultural soul.
- nulldev 9y ago
  > Maybe people should wear suits and ties then. You know, to make it abundantly clear that the workplace is a stiff and formal environment. Suits and ties are a step in the right direction, but I think what many of us would really like to see are non-gendered company uniforms along with well defined personal style guidelines (hair, makeup, et al)

chasing 9y ago

That's what you've taken from all of this? Don't drink with co-workers? I don't think that's what's causing the outrage, here...

thatswrong0 9y ago
I'm pretty sure OP is referring to a bunch of other comments here that were saying those exact things - that to avoid such a situations from arising in the first place, refrain from doing anything non-work related with coworkers. Which is all hilarious to me because I'm friends with a lot of my coworkers, drink with them, and even have had the audacity to casually (and mutually) flirt with a couple of them. Based on what I've been reading in these comments, my career ought to be crumbling down by now. I think some commenters are focusing too much on the non-professional aspect and not enough on the power-imbalance aspect presented in some of these cases.

nulldev 9y ago

I also encourage you to avoid direct eye contact with coworkers. It helps maintain a firm barrier between the professional and personal space. Also, consider adopting the middle-english pronouns 'thou' and 'thee' when referring to colleagues, and if a specific identifier is required you should default to using their mailbox address (e.g. jane.smith or dustin.bieber).