4 ms·

I don't really understand socializing with co-workers outside of work under any circumstances, but especially with intoxicants involved. This includes company h

I don't really understand socializing with co-workers outside of work under any circumstances, but especially with intoxicants involved. This includes company holiday parties, etc. Let work be work, and keep your social life separate. I've seen far more bad than good come out of such things.

LeoNatan25 9y ago
People are people. A true friendship can form between coworkers and there is no reason to forcefully undercut such a relationship just because it's "work". People willing to do that are very weird to me, and I am glad no such people work where I work, or have worked in the past.
kevin_nisbet 9y ago
Most of my best friends I've met at work, and we socialize often even after changing jobs. I also find it to be a great opportunity to blow off steam with like minded people, about the problems we're encountering in the workplace.
cylinder 9y ago
I agree, not a fan of these things. I make friends through jobs, but by planning private hangouts with them...
alsetmusic 9y ago
I went to dinner with seven good friends last week and we all met at the same employer. None of us have been coworkers for over five years. We spent about 2.5 hours together laughing and having a blast. Some work environments are genuinely conducive to forming friendships and others are not. I haven't befriended coworkers at every job, but my closest friendships have all been from the workplace since leaving school.
tarr11 9y ago
Although the percentage is declining, many relationships still begin at work [1] The real issue is a power imbalance, but this issue also exists in other settings as well. Alcohol inhibits your judgement, but many people can successfully consume alcohol without adverse social consequences. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/08/how-much-life-has-changed-in-one-incredible-chart-about-dating/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/08/how-m...
- pvaldes 9y ago
  This cut both ways. Power inbalance has the problem that sex is a extremely common strategy for gaining power in human societies. Predators can take any side on the relationship.
  - saghm 9y ago
    All the more reason not to engage (or attempt to initiate) a sexual or romantic relationship with a subordinate or superior.
    - pvaldes 9y ago
      Well, the problem is that then all we would have is a closed caste system, that is a very undesirable situation in itself and much worse.
      - thehardsphere 9y ago
        Uh, no. You know it used to be that men and women didn't work together, right? Like, this idea of being able to date at work has only been around for about 50 years or so, while the human race has been around for thousands. Somehow we figured out how to reproduce in the West without a "closed caste system" just fine. You can too, without dating anyone at your job.
      - saghm 9y ago
        There are plenty of people of different social classes than you who don't work at the same company as you, so I don't think a social norm saying that you shouldn't ask out maybe a few dozen people you work with is a "closed caste system".
nvahalik 9y ago
I met my wife at my job! Been married 8+ years now.
mc32 9y ago
The problem with him is his position. In a position where you can hire or fire people you should not be engaging in this kind of adolescent behavior. People, colleagues and equals at work should be able to interact socially, over drinks and even hook up. People are human and sexual attraction is natural. I don't think we should try to pretend it does not exist and that we should remove it from the workplace. What should not happen is people not knowing boundaries or social convention. People should know how to act and should know how not to act -even when drunk. I don't think workplaces should be sterile, asocial places which ignore human predisposition to social interaction.
collyw 9y ago
Have a quick google. You will find that 38% of people have dated a coworker. I am pretty sure a fair few of those have turned into lifelong relationships. Personally I would regard that as a good outcome.

LeoNatan25 9y ago

People are people. A true friendship can form between coworkers and there is no reason to forcefully undercut such a relationship just because it's "work". People willing to do that are very weird to me, and I am glad no such people work where I work, or have worked in the past.

kevin_nisbet 9y ago

Most of my best friends I've met at work, and we socialize often even after changing jobs. I also find it to be a great opportunity to blow off steam with like minded people, about the problems we're encountering in the workplace.

cylinder 9y ago

I agree, not a fan of these things. I make friends through jobs, but by planning private hangouts with them...

alsetmusic 9y ago

I went to dinner with seven good friends last week and we all met at the same employer. None of us have been coworkers for over five years. We spent about 2.5 hours together laughing and having a blast. Some work environments are genuinely conducive to forming friendships and others are not. I haven't befriended coworkers at every job, but my closest friendships have all been from the workplace since leaving school.

tarr11 9y ago

Although the percentage is declining, many relationships still begin at work [1] The real issue is a power imbalance, but this issue also exists in other settings as well. Alcohol inhibits your judgement, but many people can successfully consume alcohol without adverse social consequences. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/08/how-much-life-has-changed-in-one-incredible-chart-about-dating/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/08/how-m...

pvaldes 9y ago
This cut both ways. Power inbalance has the problem that sex is a extremely common strategy for gaining power in human societies. Predators can take any side on the relationship.
- saghm 9y ago
  All the more reason not to engage (or attempt to initiate) a sexual or romantic relationship with a subordinate or superior.
  - pvaldes 9y ago
    Well, the problem is that then all we would have is a closed caste system, that is a very undesirable situation in itself and much worse.
    - thehardsphere 9y ago
      Uh, no. You know it used to be that men and women didn't work together, right? Like, this idea of being able to date at work has only been around for about 50 years or so, while the human race has been around for thousands. Somehow we figured out how to reproduce in the West without a "closed caste system" just fine. You can too, without dating anyone at your job.
    - saghm 9y ago
      There are plenty of people of different social classes than you who don't work at the same company as you, so I don't think a social norm saying that you shouldn't ask out maybe a few dozen people you work with is a "closed caste system".

nvahalik 9y ago

I met my wife at my job! Been married 8+ years now.

mc32 9y ago

The problem with him is his position. In a position where you can hire or fire people you should not be engaging in this kind of adolescent behavior. People, colleagues and equals at work should be able to interact socially, over drinks and even hook up. People are human and sexual attraction is natural. I don't think we should try to pretend it does not exist and that we should remove it from the workplace. What should not happen is people not knowing boundaries or social convention. People should know how to act and should know how not to act -even when drunk. I don't think workplaces should be sterile, asocial places which ignore human predisposition to social interaction.

collyw 9y ago

Have a quick google. You will find that 38% of people have dated a coworker. I am pretty sure a fair few of those have turned into lifelong relationships. Personally I would regard that as a good outcome.