Social politeness dictates we approach high intensity situations with some grace and tact. It really hurts to be rejected and it really hurts to do the rejectio

Social politeness dictates we approach high intensity situations with some grace and tact. It really hurts to be rejected and it really hurts to do the rejection because the rejecter knows he or she is going to cause another human being who took a risk and put themselves out there to experience negative feelings. Only psychopaths enjoy rejecting people. So we say "little white lies" to make it easier on both parties. We say "I can't make it" instead of what we really feel, which is "you are very sexually unappealing to me." Part of "being polite" is understanding this and playing along. BTW, if you have trouble with this sort of thing I recommend Miss Manners books and newspaper columns. They are both very informative and entertaining. Plus they make me feel good that I was not as bad as some people who write to her. I was raised by my parents who are truly evil people and are assholes to boot, so I never learned manners or proper behavior and I'd like to not be an asshole myself, so I needed help.