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I think the point that the parent commenter is missing, and you're not illustrating, is that women are very frequently propositioned in the workplace. To stcre

I think the point that the parent commenter is missing, and you're not illustrating, is that women are very frequently propositioned in the workplace. To stcredzero, he's innocuously asking a woman colleague of equal rank, who he has rapport with, out to a movie. He sees it as an opportunity to develop a relationship that could lead to a happy marriage. He doesn't get that many opportunities due to various reasons, so he's taking the chance he has. She sees it as yet another colleague asking her out, when it's likely another male colleague asked her on a date that very morning, along with the dude on BART and one on the street as she walked to work. The workplace should be focused on work, not another place where a woman has to be on guard. People do form romantic relationships from working relationships. This should be approached with the utmost of care, because the workplace isn't the appropriate place. The appropriate place is social events, with mutual friends; a Tinder date; a friendship struck at your local Linux Users Group meetup (you never know), etc.

deleted 9y ago
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FeepingCreature 9y ago
Wouldn't the same problem apply at any social gathering with gender bias?
zo1 9y ago
>"The workplace should be focused on work, not another place where a woman has to be on guard." I don't think there is consensus on that view. Work wouldn't be my first choice for finding a suitable partner. But that doesn't mean that individuals that spend a lot of time together in a non-social context are magically excluded from behaving in a certain way for the sole benefit of female comfort. There is a clear difference between consensual actions here, and we mustn't infantilize women by making such blanket statements that essentially amount to us saying that women need an incredibly sterile and "safe" (from proposition) environment to work in.
- linkregister 9y ago
  You're shifting my argument into a strawman to bolster yours: nobody is credibly advocating infantilizing women. I will help you with your reading comprehension: > People do form romantic relationships from working relationships. This should be approached with the utmost of care, because the workplace isn't the appropriate place. Since you strawman-ized my argument, I'll do the same to yours: "When people tell me I can't hit on women at work, that's infantilizing them."

deleted 9y ago

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FeepingCreature 9y ago

Wouldn't the same problem apply at any social gathering with gender bias?

zo1 9y ago

>"The workplace should be focused on work, not another place where a woman has to be on guard." I don't think there is consensus on that view. Work wouldn't be my first choice for finding a suitable partner. But that doesn't mean that individuals that spend a lot of time together in a non-social context are magically excluded from behaving in a certain way for the sole benefit of female comfort. There is a clear difference between consensual actions here, and we mustn't infantilize women by making such blanket statements that essentially amount to us saying that women need an incredibly sterile and "safe" (from proposition) environment to work in.

linkregister 9y ago
You're shifting my argument into a strawman to bolster yours: nobody is credibly advocating infantilizing women. I will help you with your reading comprehension: > People do form romantic relationships from working relationships. This should be approached with the utmost of care, because the workplace isn't the appropriate place. Since you strawman-ized my argument, I'll do the same to yours: "When people tell me I can't hit on women at work, that's infantilizing them."