7 ms·

I think that you are derailing the conversation, and I would appreciate it if you would stop.

by cbhl 9y ago

xor1 9y ago
Can you please explain how it's derailment? Do you think my concern is an invalid one? As someone who has been through the ringer with borderlines multiple times, it is something that I think about constantly, and I think it's a mistake to ignore the fact that it's a real thing and that people with borderline personality disorder exist in professional workplaces.
- cbhl 9y ago
  Here's a resource: http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Derailment http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Derailment
  - xor1 9y ago
    >It is not derailing to say, because considering the needs of these women is still considering the needs of women. Borderlines are harming women as well with their behavior, not just men. Their false accusations don't have to be sexual in nature, and can be aimed at other women. According to that definition, it isn't derailment.
    - dang 9y ago
      But it's off topic. You're trying to make the conversation be about something else—I assume in a completely well-intentioned way, but this isn't the place for it.
      - xor1 9y ago
        I accept that it's off-topic and I don't dispute your decision to detach the thread. And I do appreciate the effort you put into moderating HN. But that entry linked by cbhl doesn't help his argument. I still think BPD is a valid concern, though. I'd really like to sincerely ask if you've had a run-in with it yet.
        dang 9y ago
        I'd be happy to discuss it with you in a different context.
        DanBC 9y ago
        > I'd really like to sincerely ask if you've had a run-in with it yet. reply Yes, I've met many people with borderline personality disorder. I helped the English NHS create their KUF (Knowledge and Understanding Framework) for borderline personality disorder; I campaign for services to better meet the needs of people with BPD. What you're saying is ignorant bollocks. False accusations are not more common among people with BPD, and false accusations are rare.
        xor1 9y ago
        >Yes, I've met many people with borderline personality disorder. How many of them do you know extremely well? As in you've spent time alone with them for hours or even days on end? Are you a mental health professional who has treated them as patients? You don't really know someone with borderline until you do either of these, IMO, no matter how much research or campaigning you do. >False accusations are not more common among people with BPD, and false accusations are rare. Have you done research into what it's like to go through a divorce with someone who has BPD? If you have, how can you post this with a straight face? Do you yourself have BPD?
        DanBC 9y ago
        I have lived with people with BPD. I work with people with BPD. I've spent time alone with people with BPD. You appear to have gone through a messy divorce, but that doesn't give you any information about a large (one to two percent) part of the population.
        xor1 9y ago
        It wasn't a divorce.
        9y ago
  - qb45 9y ago
    You surely could find a definition which isn't intermixed with propaganda.
    - xor1 9y ago
      People aren't really interested in discussing the issue or taking it seriously because it exposes a vulnerability in their platform, and they can't handle that. All of my comments have been flagged even after the thread was detached, and only one person followed through in a response chain. Shrug.
      - DanBC 9y ago
        You're mistaken. Your comments border on bigotry. People don't want to engage with someone who has a closed mind. Pretty much everything you've said about borderline PD is fucking nonsense. There's no point responding to someone who so clearly demonstrates they don't know what they're talking about. None of the stuff you've mentioned has any link to borderline personality disorder. If you're going to use mental health diagnoses you should 1) use the right one and 2) probably just not. In general when you find yourself saying stuff like "the Jews did it" or "Asians can't drive" or "black people can't swim" or "borderlines ..." You should probably not bother. For anyone who wants to learn more about what borderline personality disorder is I recommend "Meeting the Challenge, Making a Difference". http://www.crisiscareconcordat.org.uk/inspiration/meeting-the-challenge-making-a-difference/ http://www.crisiscareconcordat.org.uk/inspiration/meeting-th... People with BPD experience significant stigma. Not just from the general population but from health professionals, including mental health professionals too.
        xor1 9y ago
        >People don't want to engage with someone who has a closed mind. Except I don't have a closed mind, and I always follow through on response chains in discussions. I am more than willing to allow you to convince me. >Pretty much everything you've said about borderline PD is fucking nonsense. Not in my experience. >In general when you find yourself saying stuff like "the Jews did it" or "Asians can't drive" or "black people can't swim" or "borderlines ..." You should probably not bother. Ok, this is an EXTREME strawman. Comparing it to racism? Really? >For anyone who wants to learn more about what borderline personality disorder is I recommend "Meeting the Challenge, Making a Difference". I just took a quick look. This isn't a resource about BPD, it's about all personality disorders, and scanning through the book for references about Borderline mainly brings up discussion about treatment, and not the actual harm that borderlines inflict on other people. Point me to a specific page or section if you'd like, maybe I missed something. You seem like a borderline apologist to me. I don't understand why people like you exist, to be honest. You know what I consider an apt comparison? Borderlines and pedophiles. Neither of them can help themselves, they both need treatment, yet they still cause devastation as they act out on their conditions, and they don't deserve a pass from society or the legal system. >People with BPD experience significant stigma. Not just from the general population but from health professionals, including mental health professionals too. Would you be so kind as to explain to me why you think this is the case? I have my own thoughts in regards to this, of course. I just want to hear yours, and possibly be convinced that I'm being unfair.

I think that you are derailing the conversation, and I would appreciate it if you would stop.

by cbhl 9y ago

I think that you are derailing the conversation, and I would appreciate it if you would stop.

xor1 9y ago

Can you please explain how it's derailment? Do you think my concern is an invalid one? As someone who has been through the ringer with borderlines multiple times, it is something that I think about constantly, and I think it's a mistake to ignore the fact that it's a real thing and that people with borderline personality disorder exist in professional workplaces.

cbhl 9y ago
Here's a resource: http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Derailment http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Derailment
- xor1 9y ago
  >It is not derailing to say, because considering the needs of these women is still considering the needs of women. Borderlines are harming women as well with their behavior, not just men. Their false accusations don't have to be sexual in nature, and can be aimed at other women. According to that definition, it isn't derailment.
  - dang 9y ago
    But it's off topic. You're trying to make the conversation be about something else—I assume in a completely well-intentioned way, but this isn't the place for it.
    - xor1 9y ago
      I accept that it's off-topic and I don't dispute your decision to detach the thread. And I do appreciate the effort you put into moderating HN. But that entry linked by cbhl doesn't help his argument. I still think BPD is a valid concern, though. I'd really like to sincerely ask if you've had a run-in with it yet.
      - dang 9y ago
        I'd be happy to discuss it with you in a different context.
      - DanBC 9y ago
        > I'd really like to sincerely ask if you've had a run-in with it yet. reply Yes, I've met many people with borderline personality disorder. I helped the English NHS create their KUF (Knowledge and Understanding Framework) for borderline personality disorder; I campaign for services to better meet the needs of people with BPD. What you're saying is ignorant bollocks. False accusations are not more common among people with BPD, and false accusations are rare.
        xor1 9y ago
        >Yes, I've met many people with borderline personality disorder. How many of them do you know extremely well? As in you've spent time alone with them for hours or even days on end? Are you a mental health professional who has treated them as patients? You don't really know someone with borderline until you do either of these, IMO, no matter how much research or campaigning you do. >False accusations are not more common among people with BPD, and false accusations are rare. Have you done research into what it's like to go through a divorce with someone who has BPD? If you have, how can you post this with a straight face? Do you yourself have BPD?
        DanBC 9y ago
        I have lived with people with BPD. I work with people with BPD. I've spent time alone with people with BPD. You appear to have gone through a messy divorce, but that doesn't give you any information about a large (one to two percent) part of the population.
        xor1 9y ago
        It wasn't a divorce.
        9y ago
- qb45 9y ago
  You surely could find a definition which isn't intermixed with propaganda.
  - xor1 9y ago
    People aren't really interested in discussing the issue or taking it seriously because it exposes a vulnerability in their platform, and they can't handle that. All of my comments have been flagged even after the thread was detached, and only one person followed through in a response chain. Shrug.
    - DanBC 9y ago
      You're mistaken. Your comments border on bigotry. People don't want to engage with someone who has a closed mind. Pretty much everything you've said about borderline PD is fucking nonsense. There's no point responding to someone who so clearly demonstrates they don't know what they're talking about. None of the stuff you've mentioned has any link to borderline personality disorder. If you're going to use mental health diagnoses you should 1) use the right one and 2) probably just not. In general when you find yourself saying stuff like "the Jews did it" or "Asians can't drive" or "black people can't swim" or "borderlines ..." You should probably not bother. For anyone who wants to learn more about what borderline personality disorder is I recommend "Meeting the Challenge, Making a Difference". http://www.crisiscareconcordat.org.uk/inspiration/meeting-the-challenge-making-a-difference/ http://www.crisiscareconcordat.org.uk/inspiration/meeting-th... People with BPD experience significant stigma. Not just from the general population but from health professionals, including mental health professionals too.
      - xor1 9y ago
        >People don't want to engage with someone who has a closed mind. Except I don't have a closed mind, and I always follow through on response chains in discussions. I am more than willing to allow you to convince me. >Pretty much everything you've said about borderline PD is fucking nonsense. Not in my experience. >In general when you find yourself saying stuff like "the Jews did it" or "Asians can't drive" or "black people can't swim" or "borderlines ..." You should probably not bother. Ok, this is an EXTREME strawman. Comparing it to racism? Really? >For anyone who wants to learn more about what borderline personality disorder is I recommend "Meeting the Challenge, Making a Difference". I just took a quick look. This isn't a resource about BPD, it's about all personality disorders, and scanning through the book for references about Borderline mainly brings up discussion about treatment, and not the actual harm that borderlines inflict on other people. Point me to a specific page or section if you'd like, maybe I missed something. You seem like a borderline apologist to me. I don't understand why people like you exist, to be honest. You know what I consider an apt comparison? Borderlines and pedophiles. Neither of them can help themselves, they both need treatment, yet they still cause devastation as they act out on their conditions, and they don't deserve a pass from society or the legal system. >People with BPD experience significant stigma. Not just from the general population but from health professionals, including mental health professionals too. Would you be so kind as to explain to me why you think this is the case? I have my own thoughts in regards to this, of course. I just want to hear yours, and possibly be convinced that I'm being unfair.