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Regardless of intent, this contributes to the problem. A lot of mentoring and networking happens on a 1:1 basis, and if men refuse to meet women 1:1 in situati

by gizmo 9y ago

Regardless of intent, this contributes to the problem. A lot of mentoring and networking happens on a 1:1 basis, and if men refuse to meet women 1:1 in situations where they would meet with other men, then women will lose out on career opportunities.

smmsnsks 9y ago
The risks are too great for me to make that my problem. If a woman wants a meeting with me, I'm happy to make time for her, it just has to be during the daytime.
- Tasboo 9y ago
  This is your problem. You are essentially ensuring a woman will never receive the same respect or treatment from you as you do with men. This is on you to fix. Stop avoiding it.
sokoloff 9y ago
This. In taking a new role several years ago, I had selected a woman to be part of my new leadership team. I was counseled by a peer (of sorts) to never take a closed-door 1:1 meeting with her; that it was simply too risky. How the hell am I supposed to run a department without ever having a closed-door 1:1 meeting with 1/4 of my leadership team? I ignored the warning and things of course played out just fine, but it did give me some pause that people would think that simply having a meeting would be too risky to consider.
- likelynew 9y ago
  I also think the same way. In my experience, most single guys can be divided into two categories, ones who have predatory attitudes for girls or the ones who has fear talking to females. Both are actually bad for the girls.
  - wruza 9y ago
    Your experience seems to be unique, because there are lots of single guys who don't have both. As if you stated that being single is a deviance at least.
  - dreamdu5t 9y ago
    I forgot it's perfectly fine to objectify men but not women.
bt4u2 9y ago
Definitely. But what are you supposed to do? "Don't overstep boundaries", sure, but that's not a very practical advice. In this life you will overstep sometimes. Like bugs in code, it's unfortunate, but unavoidable. I wouldn't risk my career for a man, so why should I risk it for a woman? The rational thing seems to be playing it safe. The whole situation is nuts
- sokoloff 9y ago
  "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." (John Shedd, but sidelong relevant to this thread was also cited several times by Grace Hopper in interviews). If you take the apparent maximally safe course of action at every turn in life, you probably won't achieve much. It's risky to change jobs, to break up with your current partner, to start dating someone, to have kids, to buy a house, to change cities, to pick a college/major, to pick an initial career, to drive in the rain, to play recreational sports, to travel to a different country, to eat sushi, and 100s of other times in any given year. If you are willing to do something important (and work-related) for a man that you are not willing to do for a woman, IMO, you should not be in a position of leadership.

by gizmo 9y ago

smmsnsks 9y ago

The risks are too great for me to make that my problem. If a woman wants a meeting with me, I'm happy to make time for her, it just has to be during the daytime.

Tasboo 9y ago
This is your problem. You are essentially ensuring a woman will never receive the same respect or treatment from you as you do with men. This is on you to fix. Stop avoiding it.

sokoloff 9y ago

This. In taking a new role several years ago, I had selected a woman to be part of my new leadership team. I was counseled by a peer (of sorts) to never take a closed-door 1:1 meeting with her; that it was simply too risky. How the hell am I supposed to run a department without ever having a closed-door 1:1 meeting with 1/4 of my leadership team? I ignored the warning and things of course played out just fine, but it did give me some pause that people would think that simply having a meeting would be too risky to consider.

likelynew 9y ago
I also think the same way. In my experience, most single guys can be divided into two categories, ones who have predatory attitudes for girls or the ones who has fear talking to females. Both are actually bad for the girls.
- wruza 9y ago
  Your experience seems to be unique, because there are lots of single guys who don't have both. As if you stated that being single is a deviance at least.
- dreamdu5t 9y ago
  I forgot it's perfectly fine to objectify men but not women.

bt4u2 9y ago

Definitely. But what are you supposed to do? "Don't overstep boundaries", sure, but that's not a very practical advice. In this life you will overstep sometimes. Like bugs in code, it's unfortunate, but unavoidable. I wouldn't risk my career for a man, so why should I risk it for a woman? The rational thing seems to be playing it safe. The whole situation is nuts

sokoloff 9y ago
"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." (John Shedd, but sidelong relevant to this thread was also cited several times by Grace Hopper in interviews). If you take the apparent maximally safe course of action at every turn in life, you probably won't achieve much. It's risky to change jobs, to break up with your current partner, to start dating someone, to have kids, to buy a house, to change cities, to pick a college/major, to pick an initial career, to drive in the rain, to play recreational sports, to travel to a different country, to eat sushi, and 100s of other times in any given year. If you are willing to do something important (and work-related) for a man that you are not willing to do for a woman, IMO, you should not be in a position of leadership.