3 ms·

>Just kind of musing on a concern I've heard from a lot of people in and mostly outside that field just talking about rules where men can never hit on or anythi

>Just kind of musing on a concern I've heard from a lot of people in and mostly outside that field just talking about rules where men can never hit on or anything close women who are professionals. Then why do couples often say they met at work? If you're an investor, meeting someone for the first or second time, and someone asks you for money, and you hit on them, you're an utter asshole and moron. Yes, even if someone was dressed in a way that exposed cleavage. It's not remotely appropriate, professional, or even decent to hit on someone at the place and time that Cantor did. If you already have a steady, mutual friendship (or other positive relationship) with someone you work with, or are in a casual setting that people go to with the intent of hitting on people or being hit on, then, sure, things can work differently. But that's extremely distant from what occurred here. Someone asking something from you in a professional capacity does not ever want "wanna fuck?" as the answer.

nickpsecurity 9y ago
"Then why do couples often say they met at work?" That's actually my argument. Many do. Anyone applying nothing personal on the job wouldn't achieve that since each would report on the other per policy of no advances. Yet, there's tons of couples that met on the job. So, clearly a lot of people disagreeing with that concept or seeking to limit it in some way with a lot of relationships that wouldn't have happened. "If you already have a steady, mutual friendship (or other positive relationship) with someone you work with" How do you do that if you can't show personal interest in them if they approached you professionally? Other articles have women complaining about that where they expect to only receive professional interactions with men they sent a professional statement or response to. Note that, as in my reply to cortesoft, this is a subset of women where others may be fine with it. I've met a lot of those where I just saw them do it in their actions. Or they did the flirting themselves from the get go based on the value of the man. The differing views by both men and women are always left out of these articles that present just one. So, I wanted to see if anyone had something to say about it. Seems they're all in one camp so far that probably matches publisher's. "and you hit on them, you're an utter asshole and moron. Yes, even if someone was dressed in a way that exposed cleavage." Going straight to hitting on them before trying to get a conversation or friendly chat would be stupid. I said I'd probably not do it. Never have so far. I play it safe just being professional or friendly until one shows interest in me.
- vkou 9y ago
  There is a legal, and ethical difference between meeting and dating a co-worker, and hitting on someone who you have power over. The former is, assuming everyone is OK with it, fine. The latter is illegal as hell, and even if everyone is OK with it at the time, will expose you to litigation. Don't do it. This is sexual harassment training 101.

nickpsecurity 9y ago

"Then why do couples often say they met at work?" That's actually my argument. Many do. Anyone applying nothing personal on the job wouldn't achieve that since each would report on the other per policy of no advances. Yet, there's tons of couples that met on the job. So, clearly a lot of people disagreeing with that concept or seeking to limit it in some way with a lot of relationships that wouldn't have happened. "If you already have a steady, mutual friendship (or other positive relationship) with someone you work with" How do you do that if you can't show personal interest in them if they approached you professionally? Other articles have women complaining about that where they expect to only receive professional interactions with men they sent a professional statement or response to. Note that, as in my reply to cortesoft, this is a subset of women where others may be fine with it. I've met a lot of those where I just saw them do it in their actions. Or they did the flirting themselves from the get go based on the value of the man. The differing views by both men and women are always left out of these articles that present just one. So, I wanted to see if anyone had something to say about it. Seems they're all in one camp so far that probably matches publisher's. "and you hit on them, you're an utter asshole and moron. Yes, even if someone was dressed in a way that exposed cleavage." Going straight to hitting on them before trying to get a conversation or friendly chat would be stupid. I said I'd probably not do it. Never have so far. I play it safe just being professional or friendly until one shows interest in me.

vkou 9y ago
There is a legal, and ethical difference between meeting and dating a co-worker, and hitting on someone who you have power over. The former is, assuming everyone is OK with it, fine. The latter is illegal as hell, and even if everyone is OK with it at the time, will expose you to litigation. Don't do it. This is sexual harassment training 101.