These are largely false dichotomies. 1. Study - Starting at the beginning, be involved with your kids and their schoolwork. A big part of this is being with th

These are largely false dichotomies. 1. Study - Starting at the beginning, be involved with your kids and their schoolwork. A big part of this is being with them while they do their homework. First, this helps you solidify points that they may not have understood from class. Second, this gives the parent opportunities to share various sorts of life skills -- time management, problem solving, learning strategies, etc. Obviously the parent needs to have restraint so that the child still has ownership of the homework, but that's not terribly difficult if the parent is aware of that parameter. If the parent thinks that the kid has too much homework, then I suggest having a talk with the teacher(s). Hands down, the number one predictor of student success is parental involvement with a child's education. 2. Religion - Typically, when young, just tell them what you believe. They are children and will largely accept it in its entirety. Once they start asking questions, explain to them that other people believe different ways, and when the child is ready, they can decide what approach they want to take with religion. Make sure to explain to them any potential repercussions of not toeing the party line (e.g., a born Muslim openly revoking the religion of Islam in the KSA). Note that they will make this choice whether the parent "permits" them to or not. The real question is the attitude the child takes towards the parent after they have decided. In the example of a parent believing that their child will go to hell in the even that the same religion is not followed, then I think the problem there lies with the parent -- either they need to accept this possibility and the fact that the child will choose no matter what, or they need to embrace or more tolerant religion. 3. Internet use - This is actually a tough one. I strongly suggest controls on any computer that is not the child's -- mainly to avoid malware. Tell the kid you are doing so and why. Ideally, as your child is growing up, you have been able to teach them at least a modicum of internet/tech literacy, but that still won't guarantee the safety of your computer. As for the child's own device, I suggest teaching them best practices from the time they start using computers. Once they are teenagers (or even earlier), they will be able to access any sites they want, whether your want them to or not. If you are concerned about a certain type of website (e.g., porn), then have a discussion about these topics before or right as they and/or their peers become curious about such subjects (usu. around the early onset of puberty around 10). Explain to them your thoughts and feelings about these sites, and (perhaps most importantly) tell them that they will have to make up their own minds about these types of sites. As said before, they will do so whether they are "permitted to" or not. These questions seem to be oriented towards control. This "works" only as long as the child's ability to think independently is suppressed. This may last a lifetime, but it usually doesn't. It also leads to parent-child conflict once the door to independent thinking has been opened. Modeling desired behaviors is usually the easiest way to get a child to exhibit those behaviors. This works both for "good" behaviors as well as "bad" ones. That said, most people who are regarded as "good" parents, even with the curtains are pulled back, are ones that model the behaviors/values they want their kids to have, explain those behaviors/values to their kids, mentor their kids within the child's context, and support the child's decisions, even if they differ from the path the parent would have taken.