All of this. Don't control, but do guide. After all, your kids will eventually have all the freedom of adulthood, and the best thing you can do is prepare them

All of this. Don't control, but do guide. After all, your kids will eventually have all the freedom of adulthood, and the best thing you can do is prepare them for it -- so they don't end up being one of those college freshmen who have to have their stomachs pumped because they never had a chance to learn there was such a thing as moderation before they left home.