5 ms·

Problem number one, that girl in the opening picture has a ring on her left hand. Perhaps try again with single girls?

sillysaurus3 9y ago
Is it unethical to go out with someone that wants out of their marriage? A divorce is costly, takes a lot of time, and the relationship is usually dead long before the papers are finalized. If there's trickery involved, then sure. But it's not quite so clear-cut. Where it gets murky is if you don't have a job, you're stuck -- it's very difficult to leave your marriage without at least attempting to find someone else before a divorce. But the alternative is to be a slave to your partner's whims, if the marriage is sufficiently toxic and unsalvageable.
- smt88 9y ago
  Regardless of the ethics, it's probably just not going to work out...
- epmaybe 9y ago
  Even in that case, why wear the ring in the picture? Edit: On second look, that picture looks to be a stock photo, not one of the dates the author went on.
  - sillysaurus3 9y ago
    Sure, if the relationship has reached that point, she probably wouldn't be wearing a ring. I'm just curious what everyone thinks.
  - CameronBanga 9y ago
    I think this is probably a stock photo just used to add a photo to the article.
  - kaybe 9y ago
    Is nobody wearing rings just for fun?
    - zhengyi13 9y ago
      I've certainly met people who wear rings specifically to suggest they're unavailable, or at least cut down on the number of propositions.
- mcjiggerlog 9y ago
  If there's not trickery involved then they wouldn't be wearing a ring, surely?
- watty 9y ago
  Yes, it is still unethical. > Where it gets murky is if you don't have a job, you're stuck -- it's very difficult to leave your marriage without at least attempting to find someone else before a divorce. Are you saying that you should continue to live off of the spouse's salary while shopping on the side?
  - sillysaurus3 9y ago
    It's easy to turn this question around: Are you saying that you should live your life beholden to someone else just because they're supporting you financially? Isn't that servitude?
    - watty 9y ago
      Beholden to someone? Servitude? I'm simply saying that it's unethical to live off of someone else's salary, in marriage, while trying to find a replacement (it's called an affair).
      - sillysaurus3 9y ago
        Ten years is a long time, and people change significantly. Think drug abuse. If your SO is strung out all the time, and you have no ability to support yourself, what would you do? Unfortunately this isn't a corner case. It's a sad but common story.
        watty 9y ago
        I'm not judging, I get every situation is different. It sounds like you're referring to a specific incident, 10 year+ relationship, things change, spouse is a drug user. Sounds awful. My opinion is still that one should leave the relationship ASAP, regardless of how difficult it is financially. Support groups, family, part time work, driving uber, whatever it takes. I think it's unethical to stay in a relationship for financial security while trying to find a replacement. Even if there was emotional or physical abuse my answer would be the same. Exit the relationship, find support, don't have an affair.
- watwut 9y ago
  Yes it is unethical, but she is unethical more. Pragmatically, if she dates you while wearing that ring, chances are she will date another dude while wearing your ring. If you need to stay on toxic relationship because of money, it is hard to leave, but not because you did not dated on the side. It is because you need to arrange living and job (or shelter). People in toxic relationships tend to be emotionally drained.
smt88 9y ago
Seems like a stock photo to me
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
_e 9y ago
I did not read the whole post yet but it could be a picture of his fiance. I could not quickly find the source of the image through google image search [0]. What are the odds? [0] http://www.google.com/search?q=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn-images-1.medium.com%2Fmax%2F2000%2F1*9PRGO5_NSmj_2yDJa7YK0A.jpeg&tbm=isch&oq=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn-images-1.medium.com%2Fmax%2F2000%2F1*9PRGO5_NSmj_2yDJa7YK0A.jpeg http://www.google.com/search?q=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn-images-1.me...
Etheryte 9y ago
It's a stock photo, you're reading into it too much. I doubt the guy went on a date and then asked the gal to strike a pose: "I'm writing an article about how I'm dating 150 girls, can you please pose for a photograph?"
- mamon 9y ago
  He did online dating, meaning all the girls had already published their photos in the internet before he met them. Just right click and "Save as" would do the trick, if he really wanted to include real photos in the article :) But yes, I also think that's a stock photo.

Is it unethical to go out with someone that wants out of their marriage? A divorce is costly, takes a lot of time, and the relationship is usually dead long before the papers are finalized. If there's trickery involved, then sure. But it's not quite so clear-cut. Where it gets murky is if you don't have a job, you're stuck -- it's very difficult to leave your marriage without at least attempting to find someone else before a divorce. But the alternative is to be a slave to your partner's whims, if the marriage is sufficiently toxic and unsalvageable.

smt88 9y ago
Regardless of the ethics, it's probably just not going to work out...
epmaybe 9y ago
Even in that case, why wear the ring in the picture? Edit: On second look, that picture looks to be a stock photo, not one of the dates the author went on.
- sillysaurus3 9y ago
  Sure, if the relationship has reached that point, she probably wouldn't be wearing a ring. I'm just curious what everyone thinks.
- CameronBanga 9y ago
  I think this is probably a stock photo just used to add a photo to the article.
- kaybe 9y ago
  Is nobody wearing rings just for fun?
  - zhengyi13 9y ago
    I've certainly met people who wear rings specifically to suggest they're unavailable, or at least cut down on the number of propositions.
mcjiggerlog 9y ago
If there's not trickery involved then they wouldn't be wearing a ring, surely?
watty 9y ago
Yes, it is still unethical. > Where it gets murky is if you don't have a job, you're stuck -- it's very difficult to leave your marriage without at least attempting to find someone else before a divorce. Are you saying that you should continue to live off of the spouse's salary while shopping on the side?
- sillysaurus3 9y ago
  It's easy to turn this question around: Are you saying that you should live your life beholden to someone else just because they're supporting you financially? Isn't that servitude?
  - watty 9y ago
    Beholden to someone? Servitude? I'm simply saying that it's unethical to live off of someone else's salary, in marriage, while trying to find a replacement (it's called an affair).
    - sillysaurus3 9y ago
      Ten years is a long time, and people change significantly. Think drug abuse. If your SO is strung out all the time, and you have no ability to support yourself, what would you do? Unfortunately this isn't a corner case. It's a sad but common story.
      - watty 9y ago
        I'm not judging, I get every situation is different. It sounds like you're referring to a specific incident, 10 year+ relationship, things change, spouse is a drug user. Sounds awful. My opinion is still that one should leave the relationship ASAP, regardless of how difficult it is financially. Support groups, family, part time work, driving uber, whatever it takes. I think it's unethical to stay in a relationship for financial security while trying to find a replacement. Even if there was emotional or physical abuse my answer would be the same. Exit the relationship, find support, don't have an affair.
watwut 9y ago
Yes it is unethical, but she is unethical more. Pragmatically, if she dates you while wearing that ring, chances are she will date another dude while wearing your ring. If you need to stay on toxic relationship because of money, it is hard to leave, but not because you did not dated on the side. It is because you need to arrange living and job (or shelter). People in toxic relationships tend to be emotionally drained.

smt88 9y ago

Seems like a stock photo to me

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

_e 9y ago

I did not read the whole post yet but it could be a picture of his fiance. I could not quickly find the source of the image through google image search [0]. What are the odds? [0] http://www.google.com/search?q=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn-images-1.medium.com%2Fmax%2F2000%2F1*9PRGO5_NSmj_2yDJa7YK0A.jpeg&tbm=isch&oq=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn-images-1.medium.com%2Fmax%2F2000%2F1*9PRGO5_NSmj_2yDJa7YK0A.jpeg http://www.google.com/search?q=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn-images-1.me...

Etheryte 9y ago

It's a stock photo, you're reading into it too much. I doubt the guy went on a date and then asked the gal to strike a pose: "I'm writing an article about how I'm dating 150 girls, can you please pose for a photograph?"

mamon 9y ago
He did online dating, meaning all the girls had already published their photos in the internet before he met them. Just right click and "Save as" would do the trick, if he really wanted to include real photos in the article :) But yes, I also think that's a stock photo.