3 ms·

In the USA, "sexual harassment" is generally defined as behavior or words of a sexual nature that make a person feel uncomfortable. Examples could range from an

In the USA, "sexual harassment" is generally defined as behavior or words of a sexual nature that make a person feel uncomfortable. Examples could range from an extreme of physical assault or offering a quid-pro-quo to keep ones job or get a promotion, all the way to telling lewd jokes or stories within earshot of a third party, or making comments or compliments about someone's dress or appearance (even telling a co-worker "you look lovely today" every morning).

_RPM 9y ago
As a straight male, my manager comments on my clothes if I wear something nicer than usual, say a button up. It made very uncomfortable. I don't like when people comment on my appearance at work.
- biafra 9y ago
  Did you tell them? Did you ask them to stop? Did they ignored your wish?
dump121 9y ago
That's too broad / vague. I understand that if my actions/words are making/will make other person uncomfortable, I should stop. But if a coworker changed her hair style and I complemented it, can I be legally complained against?
- susanrigetti 9y ago
  The parent comment is not correct. No, you will not be "legally complained against" (I think you mean "am I breaking the law") if you compliment your coworker's hairstyle. See this: https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm
qubex 9y ago
In Italy we comment and compliment (or criticise) each other's attire regularly. It's widely known (for example) that I abhor exposed feet and will therefore call out and/or criticize sandals, flip-flops, or peep-toe shoes. Female workers do this to make workers, male workers do this to female workers. We successfully share same-sex toilets if the need arises. The regimented gender-divided situation the US seems to subtend is utterly alien to me and seems to be far more awkward than you realize.
- LeeHwang 9y ago
  Don't let these silicon valley stories fool you. Blame extremists and people who exploit gender relations for money. Most americans are decent people who do the exact type of behavior you mention, and its not a problem. Big money leads to terrible behavior due to power differences. Men AND Women willing to take advantage of less powerful people. I have a female friend who was sexually harrassed by a female VC, and again the same dynamics played out. Its not about gender but primal human desires and power.
  - qubex 9y ago
    I'm amused by the the apparent controversy of my original post (as measured by the fairly broad swings in net upvotes/downvotes). Apparently the apparent common sense I voiced therein doesn't gel with the silent majority quite as much as I'd be comfortable with.

_RPM 9y ago

As a straight male, my manager comments on my clothes if I wear something nicer than usual, say a button up. It made very uncomfortable. I don't like when people comment on my appearance at work.

biafra 9y ago
Did you tell them? Did you ask them to stop? Did they ignored your wish?

dump121 9y ago

That's too broad / vague. I understand that if my actions/words are making/will make other person uncomfortable, I should stop. But if a coworker changed her hair style and I complemented it, can I be legally complained against?

susanrigetti 9y ago
The parent comment is not correct. No, you will not be "legally complained against" (I think you mean "am I breaking the law") if you compliment your coworker's hairstyle. See this: https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

qubex 9y ago

In Italy we comment and compliment (or criticise) each other's attire regularly. It's widely known (for example) that I abhor exposed feet and will therefore call out and/or criticize sandals, flip-flops, or peep-toe shoes. Female workers do this to make workers, male workers do this to female workers. We successfully share same-sex toilets if the need arises. The regimented gender-divided situation the US seems to subtend is utterly alien to me and seems to be far more awkward than you realize.

LeeHwang 9y ago
Don't let these silicon valley stories fool you. Blame extremists and people who exploit gender relations for money. Most americans are decent people who do the exact type of behavior you mention, and its not a problem. Big money leads to terrible behavior due to power differences. Men AND Women willing to take advantage of less powerful people. I have a female friend who was sexually harrassed by a female VC, and again the same dynamics played out. Its not about gender but primal human desires and power.
- qubex 9y ago
  I'm amused by the the apparent controversy of my original post (as measured by the fairly broad swings in net upvotes/downvotes). Apparently the apparent common sense I voiced therein doesn't gel with the silent majority quite as much as I'd be comfortable with.