Right. If you run on assumptions with what you think is true, or that you just assume you both don't need to communicate, then things will probably be really to

Right. If you run on assumptions with what you think is true, or that you just assume you both don't need to communicate, then things will probably be really toxic! That's not really what I hoped to express though. Or, I don't mean to say that we can ignore responsibility and just "do what feels good" until it doesn't. Would it be possible to discuss or figure out what's expected on each side without using existing gender roles? I don't think it's an excuse to be neglectful, but I feel like putting people into boxes by default so you have to do less emotional legwork seems a bit dogmatic. I can imagine a lot of same-sex couples have to define their relationships without existing guides, and I wish that was more of the norm for the rest of us.