I am so sorry for your loss. 1 Year, 11 months, and 11 days ago I lost my wife. She died riding her motorcycle. She was the sweetest, kindest soul you would hav

I am so sorry for your loss. 1 Year, 11 months, and 11 days ago I lost my wife. She died riding her motorcycle. She was the sweetest, kindest soul you would have ever met. She also was one of the best hackers I have ever met. I will never get over her loss. But life goes on. Grief is addictive and trawling support groups, both on and offline, I found many, many people that have been stuck in their grief for many years, refusing to deal on a fundamental level with their loss. Like I said, I'll never get over her loss. But I realised a few things: There is a difference between grief, and feeling sorry for yourself. Give yourself space and time to deal with the former, kick your own ass when you find yourself stuck in the latter. Grief is a productive process, feeling sorry for yourself isn't. Learn to recognise it, and don't give yourself time for that crap. It is very easy to slip from "why her" to "why me". The former is grief, the latter is self-pity. It is ok to have some of that, but understand that every day, thousands of mothers, fathers, daughters and sons die. Some young, some old, and the majority of them too soon. This is the nature of our universe. It could turn out that your "best friends" don't understand how to help you and be there for you, and "acquaintances" becoming and enormous pillar of support. I don't know about "time healing wounds" - speaking for myself, I understood quickly that I will never get over this, and that I should find a way to find an accommodation for this hole in my life without debilitating myself. Live every day like it is your last. Ask yourself everyday what positive contribution you make to the people around you. Understand it isn't anything personal. Understand that the universe didn't point its' finger at you and thought "fuck that guy in particular". Know that before you can help others, you must help yourself. As for being there for your loved ones: Make sure they eat, especially your mom. Stay away from self pity and help them do the same. Talk about happy memories about your dad with your mom and siblings. Be strong.