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I should think that common sense would answer this question. You square it like this: Let's say a person in your company tells you their boss is sexually harra

I should think that common sense would answer this question. You square it like this: Let's say a person in your company tells you their boss is sexually harrassing them. You're on reasonably good terms with both the accuser and the accused. Some responses you might make in this case: - Deflect. Pretend you didn't hear it. Or, if pressed: "This isn't something I know anything about. You'd better take that up with them. Or maybe you could talk to HR?" - Express skepticism: "Well, I don't know if you're lying or not. Sounds like a he-said she-said situation. Sorry." - Express emotional support: "That sounds terrible! I'm sorry you're going through this, and I appreciate that it must be very hard for you to talk about this. How can I help?" - Provide logistical support: "Let's get to the bottom of this." - Express complete solidarity: "That bastard! We're going to nail them right to the wall for this. Right. To. The. Wall." - Express complete solidarity for the accused: "How could you say this about them? They're a good person! They would never intentionally harass you. It must be a misunderstanding!" Now: which responses might fall under the sentiment of "please believe women"? Which wouldn't? Which responses violate your ethical norms? Seems to me, if you're purely caught up in the legalism of the situation, I'm guessing your response is going to be "skepticism," whether you want it to be or not.

macspoofing 9y ago
I'm not sure what your argument is. Unless you are part of HR in your made-up hypothetical situation, it's not your job to intervene or seek retribution because you'll just screw it up and you'll make things worse. Personally, if you know both parties well you may very well find yourself skeptical of those claims ... or not - context matters. All companies will have a process for handling harrassment claims and process for resolving them. Accusations should be directed to HR (or suitable designated party at the company). If the harrassment continues you may have to involve the legal system - that's what it's there for.
- phlakaton 9y ago
  So, your answer in this case is: you do not get involved, period. Deflect, maybe some logistical support to direct them to HR, but nothing more? They go to HR and a week later they're let go – no real explanation given. (Hey, it's at will employment here in CA.) Or, as happens at Uber, nothing happens, and your coworker continues to complain about harrassing behavior (if they're even talking to you at this point). What do you do now? My point is: the real world is messy, and doesn't come with cut-and-dried definitions and solutions. Processes can help some, but true neutrality comes at a cost. Corrupt and sexist agencies in your company can continue to operate with aplomb. Your relationship will be damaged with coworkers who have had this happen to them – to say nothing of how it damages them when they have this happen and all of their coworkers look nervously away. It can poison your relationship to the company and all the good people that work there. I read "please believe women" as an invitation to get involved in a constructive way, and I fervently disagree with you that you as a coworker can only make things worse. You can offer emotional support, so your coworker knows you're there for them. If you have pertinent information, you can offer it. You can hold your company's feet to the fire to make sure they're handling it appropriately. And of course – since I didn't specify the gender in the scenario – you can do the same whether the people involved are male, female, or anything in between.

macspoofing 9y ago

I'm not sure what your argument is. Unless you are part of HR in your made-up hypothetical situation, it's not your job to intervene or seek retribution because you'll just screw it up and you'll make things worse. Personally, if you know both parties well you may very well find yourself skeptical of those claims ... or not - context matters. All companies will have a process for handling harrassment claims and process for resolving them. Accusations should be directed to HR (or suitable designated party at the company). If the harrassment continues you may have to involve the legal system - that's what it's there for.

phlakaton 9y ago
So, your answer in this case is: you do not get involved, period. Deflect, maybe some logistical support to direct them to HR, but nothing more? They go to HR and a week later they're let go – no real explanation given. (Hey, it's at will employment here in CA.) Or, as happens at Uber, nothing happens, and your coworker continues to complain about harrassing behavior (if they're even talking to you at this point). What do you do now? My point is: the real world is messy, and doesn't come with cut-and-dried definitions and solutions. Processes can help some, but true neutrality comes at a cost. Corrupt and sexist agencies in your company can continue to operate with aplomb. Your relationship will be damaged with coworkers who have had this happen to them – to say nothing of how it damages them when they have this happen and all of their coworkers look nervously away. It can poison your relationship to the company and all the good people that work there. I read "please believe women" as an invitation to get involved in a constructive way, and I fervently disagree with you that you as a coworker can only make things worse. You can offer emotional support, so your coworker knows you're there for them. If you have pertinent information, you can offer it. You can hold your company's feet to the fire to make sure they're handling it appropriately. And of course – since I didn't specify the gender in the scenario – you can do the same whether the people involved are male, female, or anything in between.