4 ms·

I'm afraid the craziest aspect of this story is that she wasn't even being vile, she actually believed that he wants to be dead and tried to help him. They had

• Mz 9y ago
  I was not previously aware of this aspect of the story. I will note that it is very common for men to make their emotional crap the problem of some woman they are romantically interested in, even if she has zero desire to be with him. That doesn't excuse or justify her behavior. The correct thing to do would be to "get him help" if that was within her power. But sometimes there is a thin line between stalker and boyfriend, especially in online relationships. And she was just 17.
  • qb45 9y ago
    It looks like you are trying to suggest that she may have had reasons to wish him ill while I actually dare to question whether she wished him ill at all or just felt sorry for him. I read all the transcripts and the atmosphere somehow reminds me of those suicidal doomsday cults where they just know the world is fucked and there is no way out. Except in this case, only his life was fucked and he was convinced he has no way out and got her to believe that strengthening his will to die is all she can do for him. BBC says she was on antidepressants, so possibly depressed herself. May have been convincing to her, I think.
    • Mz 9y ago
      It looks like you are trying to suggest that she may have had reasons to wish him ill No, that is not what I am suggesting. and got her to believe that strengthening his will to die is all she can do for him. This is in line with what I am saying. It is common for men to insist some woman is somehow responsible for his (emotional) welfare because he is romantically interested in her. All of society tends to reinforce this idea. It can be incredibly hard for a woman to find a way to effectively tell a man "This it not my problem to solve. You need to handle it. It is your life." Even if she has that kind of clarity, everyone around her may act like, no, his welfare and emotional state is your responsibility. She may have been in a no win situation. If she had told him "Get lost. I can't deal with this." and he committed suicide and left some suicide note blaming her for failing to love him, maybe she wouldn't be literally facing jail time, but many people would still hold her morally responsible for a thing she may have had no real control over. These type situations can be incredibly hard to sort out and courts have a long history of, for example, giving men who finally beat their abused wife to death less jail time than abused wives who kill their husband in self defense. And I think we, as a society, aren't going to come up with good answers without acknowledging these larger patterns and how they place an undue psychological burden on young women.
      • qb45 9y ago
        Oh, I see it, sorry for that.
      • deleted 9y ago
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