Step away from all the rational arguments about whether your company's results were/were-not successful. There is a possibility that the real problem is that y

Step away from all the rational arguments about whether your company's results were/were-not successful. There is a possibility that the real problem is that you are suffering from serious anxiety or depression. When you are in that state, it is impossible to objectively analyze your situation. It is also impossible to reason your way into calculating the best next step. Solutions run the gamut from learning mindfulness to seeing a psychiatrist. In my experience, once those tools give you clarity, you free yourself from the immense amounts of unhelpful internal dialogue your own mind can generate. THEN you are in a much better place to assess your situation and make appropriate decisions. As an arm-chair amateur counselor, the way to write and talk about yourself makes me suspect you've slid way down the 'depression funnel.' Getting out of that requires deliberate and determined work on your part. The other life stuff (job, etc) must be put to the side for a while. Get yourself sorted, then you'll be able to handle the life stuff. (I say all this from experience, having suffered regular bouts of depression and anxiety for a long time (much of that time, unfortunately, was un-diagnosed!))