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(2) is very important advice. Don't worry about the big picture. Every day, find yourself some wins and celebrate them. Maybe it's something as small as brus

by donw 9y ago

(2) is very important advice. Don't worry about the big picture. Every day, find yourself some wins and celebrate them. Maybe it's something as small as brushing your teeth. Dental hygene rocks -- go you! Or leaving the house and going to Starbucks, even if only to browse Reddit. Hey, getting out that door can be a big challenge. Maybe it's going for a run or a hike. You totally owned that half-mile. Whatever it is, write it down in a list, and look at yesterday's list every morning. Every accomplishment, no matter how small, is a step forward. Celebrate the fact that you made that step, and didn't give up. One more thing: I don't know where you, the OOP, are, mentally. So while burnout is serious shit, depression is even more serious shit. And we don't talk about it enough in the tech community. Whenever I move to a new country, I immediately identify a local English-speaking hospital and dental practice. Because if I ever need them, I will need them on a very tight timeframe. So, I would invest a little time and find a quality psychiatrist. Somebody that you feel comfortable talking to, and that gives you good advice. Do what you would do with any professional service, and shop around until you find one you really like. That way, if you ever really do hit rock bottom, you know where you can go, and don't need to start searching when you're in no shape to do so.

davidmr 9y ago
Thank you. Even if things are a little different for every person as they naturally are, this is good advice and I genuinely appreciate the positive attitude. As someone who has struggled with depression quite a bit, I generally have a knee-jerk reaction to "just be positive" advice, but this really sits a nice middle ground between "be positive" and "find a way to be as positive as you can".
- donw 9y ago
  "Just be positive" is horrible advice, even for non-depressed people. Sometimes your world really has gone to shit. There is no shame in admitting that. Despair isn't limited only to people that have mental problems. So you treat it like any other survival situation: take stock of your resources, focus only on your next action (and on nothing else), celebrate every win that you get, and realize that failure is going to be part of the process, too. You're going to need every ounce of motivation and positivity that you can muster, and those ounces don't come free. So earn them, no matter how small, and bank those victories for the next day. Slogging through a long and grueling hike isn't about focusing on the summit of the mountain. It's about taking one step. And then you repeat. Sure, it might not be fast, and it might be hard as hell, but if you just don't quit, you will make it through.
  - coldtea 9y ago
    >"Just be positive" is horrible advice, even for non-depressed people. (...) treat it like any other survival situation: take stock of your resources, focus only on your next action (and on nothing else), celebrate every win that you get, and realize that failure is going to be part of the process, too. You're going to need every ounce of motivation and positivity that you can muster, and those ounces don't come free. So earn them, no matter how small, and bank those victories for the next day. (...) In other words, "just be positive"?
    - dsfyu404ed 9y ago
      >In other words, "just be positive"? For incredibly poor interpretations of the phrase "just be positive"
  - justbaker 9y ago
    Is that not being positive? With every step, I'm sure the will to quit may come, but you will never reach the summit if you quit. Therefore, if you focus on NEGATIVITY like "I'm not going to make it!" YOU NEVER WILL. If you forge on, at least you're progressing, and that is something to help motivate you to finish your mission.
- justbaker 9y ago
  Of course! :) I have to be positive for my own sake. It's in my best interest to spread this to others, especially those who may be struggling as well. Psychologically, this is a very rewarding thing to do..even when you don't feel the best, if you can make another happy, it will most likely make you happy as well. I'm glad you cared enough to respond :).
justbaker 9y ago
Can not agree with this enough. Burnout leads to serious depression; it left me in the ER a few times. DON'T stress man. Things work out eventually.
westoque 9y ago
This happened to me awhile ago too. Some mismanagement on my part. Left me with around 44k of debt. I never let that put me down. What I did instead was to find more work since I do consulting and pay down the debt and still get a decent living. So lesson is to learn from your mistakes and find solutions to your problems and keep on fighting. You'd be surprised how many people actually have it worse than us but the key here is to not give up.
jmknoll 9y ago
Piggybacking on your point, there's a ton of value in linear relationships and guaranteed wins. If you pick up a guitar and play it for an hour, you're probably going to get a little bit better. Likewise, if you go for a run, you're going to be a little bit faster the next day. These sorts of relationships can be really good for our brains after founding a startup, where there isn't always a clear relationship between what you put in and what you get out.
firebird84 9y ago
I agree on #2. I burned out and lived off my savings for a while (granted I was fortunate in that I HAD savings), and started biking and working out more to try to accomplish a long-time goal which I had always told myself I didn't have time for. I lost 45 lbs and eventually started gaining muscle. Being able to bike farther and farther each day without wanting to die gave me motivation to keep going, and further the numbers on the scale helped.

by donw 9y ago

davidmr 9y ago

Thank you. Even if things are a little different for every person as they naturally are, this is good advice and I genuinely appreciate the positive attitude. As someone who has struggled with depression quite a bit, I generally have a knee-jerk reaction to "just be positive" advice, but this really sits a nice middle ground between "be positive" and "find a way to be as positive as you can".

donw 9y ago
"Just be positive" is horrible advice, even for non-depressed people. Sometimes your world really has gone to shit. There is no shame in admitting that. Despair isn't limited only to people that have mental problems. So you treat it like any other survival situation: take stock of your resources, focus only on your next action (and on nothing else), celebrate every win that you get, and realize that failure is going to be part of the process, too. You're going to need every ounce of motivation and positivity that you can muster, and those ounces don't come free. So earn them, no matter how small, and bank those victories for the next day. Slogging through a long and grueling hike isn't about focusing on the summit of the mountain. It's about taking one step. And then you repeat. Sure, it might not be fast, and it might be hard as hell, but if you just don't quit, you will make it through.
- coldtea 9y ago
  >"Just be positive" is horrible advice, even for non-depressed people. (...) treat it like any other survival situation: take stock of your resources, focus only on your next action (and on nothing else), celebrate every win that you get, and realize that failure is going to be part of the process, too. You're going to need every ounce of motivation and positivity that you can muster, and those ounces don't come free. So earn them, no matter how small, and bank those victories for the next day. (...) In other words, "just be positive"?
  - dsfyu404ed 9y ago
    >In other words, "just be positive"? For incredibly poor interpretations of the phrase "just be positive"
- justbaker 9y ago
  Is that not being positive? With every step, I'm sure the will to quit may come, but you will never reach the summit if you quit. Therefore, if you focus on NEGATIVITY like "I'm not going to make it!" YOU NEVER WILL. If you forge on, at least you're progressing, and that is something to help motivate you to finish your mission.
justbaker 9y ago
Of course! :) I have to be positive for my own sake. It's in my best interest to spread this to others, especially those who may be struggling as well. Psychologically, this is a very rewarding thing to do..even when you don't feel the best, if you can make another happy, it will most likely make you happy as well. I'm glad you cared enough to respond :).

justbaker 9y ago

Can not agree with this enough. Burnout leads to serious depression; it left me in the ER a few times. DON'T stress man. Things work out eventually.

westoque 9y ago

This happened to me awhile ago too. Some mismanagement on my part. Left me with around 44k of debt. I never let that put me down. What I did instead was to find more work since I do consulting and pay down the debt and still get a decent living. So lesson is to learn from your mistakes and find solutions to your problems and keep on fighting. You'd be surprised how many people actually have it worse than us but the key here is to not give up.

jmknoll 9y ago

Piggybacking on your point, there's a ton of value in linear relationships and guaranteed wins. If you pick up a guitar and play it for an hour, you're probably going to get a little bit better. Likewise, if you go for a run, you're going to be a little bit faster the next day. These sorts of relationships can be really good for our brains after founding a startup, where there isn't always a clear relationship between what you put in and what you get out.

firebird84 9y ago

I agree on #2. I burned out and lived off my savings for a while (granted I was fortunate in that I HAD savings), and started biking and working out more to try to accomplish a long-time goal which I had always told myself I didn't have time for. I lost 45 lbs and eventually started gaining muscle. Being able to bike farther and farther each day without wanting to die gave me motivation to keep going, and further the numbers on the scale helped.