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"Failure". I'm about your same age. I have a carreer which, arrogantly, everyone I know considers "pretty damn good" I've shipped a fraction of what you have

"Failure". I'm about your same age. I have a carreer which, arrogantly, everyone I know considers "pretty damn good" I've shipped a fraction of what you have in terms of end to end solutions, let alone piloting the ship as a founder would have to. I've learned skill sets deep in narrow areas, but this has left me wanting for broad exposure and heterogenous understanding. Your experiences and _successes_ (you SHIPPED, even if it failed after N years, and that's not even including a fucking _sale_; how many engineers get even close to that far?) give you skill sets that I couldn't easily replicate from my entire peer network. Do not sell yourself short. Even if you HAD failed, and spectacularly (and both times!) that's still a remarkable amount of firsthand experience that, outside of any pathological decisions on your part I don't know about, may not say anything negative at all about your choices and decisions. (and even if it did, experience is experience, you make mistakes and learn from them, and are so much more valuable after. Did you see the HN lashback to the eng. getting punished for deleting prod? and that's a pretty damn overt failure.) I can ramble on as the above well demonstrates, largely because I have a deep wellspring of reasons why you're being silly. Please don't take this to be a statement meant in insult, I'm sitting here amazed at your accomplishments as I'm reading, get to your conclusion, and go "wait what why huge failure no stop that". Actionably, maybe go work for a bigCo/midstage/something more grounded for a few years. Keep yourself stable and sane, see what exists in the world and what other people have done. I hope it will help you see the perspective I have, which paints your accomplishments in a very favorable light. (more importantly, don't take my advice literally, I'm saying broadly, do something to keep yourself afloat, employable, and to give yourself time to unwind and just _do shit_ as you want. Some amount of stability and freedom has done volumes in my own life for regaining mental strength in periods of conflict.) And do this in the knowledge and confidence that this engineer would consider himself lucky to work with and learn from someone who has "failed" as much as you have :)

RUG3Y 9y ago
This is an excellent response. I'd like to add my support and voice similar sentiments for OP: I'm doing ok myself, and you've accomplished far more than I have. I know from personal experience that I'm my own worst critic. You may feel stupid, unskilled, or whatever, but when you begin interacting with people again, you'll find that you DO have plenty to offer. A perceived failure is discouraging - but you've been gaining experience and growing along the way. This hasn't been a total loss.
- piva00 9y ago
  I'm thirding this here, I'm about the same age, worked in a bunch of different things and technologies, helped startups create their product from ground zero, been to startup events and talks with investors and now I've accomplished my dream of being able to live abroad, out of my home country. And even then I've not come close to the first hand experience you have now, 7 years driving two companies. So don't be too harsh on yourself, you're doing very well, way above most of people even in your country.

RUG3Y 9y ago

This is an excellent response. I'd like to add my support and voice similar sentiments for OP: I'm doing ok myself, and you've accomplished far more than I have. I know from personal experience that I'm my own worst critic. You may feel stupid, unskilled, or whatever, but when you begin interacting with people again, you'll find that you DO have plenty to offer. A perceived failure is discouraging - but you've been gaining experience and growing along the way. This hasn't been a total loss.

piva00 9y ago
I'm thirding this here, I'm about the same age, worked in a bunch of different things and technologies, helped startups create their product from ground zero, been to startup events and talks with investors and now I've accomplished my dream of being able to live abroad, out of my home country. And even then I've not come close to the first hand experience you have now, 7 years driving two companies. So don't be too harsh on yourself, you're doing very well, way above most of people even in your country.