4 ms·

> I consider it a weapon in this war of generations. I'm denying my parents the joy of grandchildren. Wow. Do you really think this matters at all?

freeflight 9y ago
To some parents, this matters a lot and it matters even more to the individual making this choice because they free themselves of a huge burden put on them by expectations of society/family. I always considered it weird how "getting children" is the default choice for so many people, even when they are clearly in no good position for anything like that, a certain scene from the movie Idiocracy always comes to my mind when I think about that.
- sotojuan 9y ago
  Yeah but using it as a way to "get back" at your parent's generation? After a decade of "no mom, I won't have children!!!! That's what you get!!!" they'll get over it and keep enjoying their retirement.
  - freeflight 9y ago
    >After a decade of "no mom, I won't have children!!!! That's what you get!!!" they'll get over it and keep enjoying their retirement. OP did not specify if he actually informed his parents about that decision, he might just as well get his satisfaction from the knowledge it won't happen, without even telling the parents. There's also parents who simply can't/won't accept such a choice and not even recognize when you inform them of your choice not to have offspring, they will just go about their ways pretending nothing changed, still expecting cute little babies a couple of years down the line.
    - majewsky 9y ago
      "I don't want to have children." - "Yeah, everyone gets over that phase eventually." - ":|"
- Amezarak 9y ago
  It's not weird, it's a drive created by a billion years of evolution. When all is said and done, what matters is passing on your genes. It's nice if you can bring up your kids in luxury, but the idea that it's necessary is rather nihilistic. You don't need to be able to afford an Ivy League education for your kids for them to be realized human beings. If you live in a first-world country, and can feed and clothe your kids, and have space for no more than 2 kids/bedroom, what more exactly do you think you need?
  - kitsunesoba 9y ago
    >You don't need to be able to afford an Ivy League education for your kids for them to be realized human beings. No, but I do need to be able to afford whatever it takes to give my children a fighting chance at getting a good job and having a good life. I personally do not plan to have children until I have some level of confidence that I can help them get on their feet when becoming productive adults. If the best I can do is kick them out of the house when they turn 18 and tell them, "good luck" I really shouldn't be having kids.
    - Amezarak 9y ago
      That's well and good that you feel that way personally, but the grandparent was suggesting that anyone who doesn't share that opinion could play a role in the movie Idiocracy. But to address your point specifically, respectfully, 'giving your kids a fighting chance at getting a good job and having a good life' doesn't require very much money - pretty much nothing beyond healthy food, clothing, a roof over their head located someplace with decent public schools, and doing your best to instill them with the right character and values. You don't need to live in the Valley and make six figures to have a good life. There are millions of happy people working in productive mid-five-figure jobs across the country right now. Do you really believe that, right now, you couldn't raise a kid who could accomplish that? There are people in awful areas with awful schools, who can't, sure, and real poverty engenders social conditions that make that difficult, but is that true for you, right now? I don't mean to try to convince you to have kids, but I feel like a lot of people believe that if they have kids, they have to provide them with every material advantage possible to compete in a rat race/keep up with the Joneses, and I think that's unhealthy for society and even for individuals - after all, having kids later in life dramatically increases the rates of virtually every adverse medical condition kids can have.

freeflight 9y ago

To some parents, this matters a lot and it matters even more to the individual making this choice because they free themselves of a huge burden put on them by expectations of society/family. I always considered it weird how "getting children" is the default choice for so many people, even when they are clearly in no good position for anything like that, a certain scene from the movie Idiocracy always comes to my mind when I think about that.

sotojuan 9y ago
Yeah but using it as a way to "get back" at your parent's generation? After a decade of "no mom, I won't have children!!!! That's what you get!!!" they'll get over it and keep enjoying their retirement.
- freeflight 9y ago
  >After a decade of "no mom, I won't have children!!!! That's what you get!!!" they'll get over it and keep enjoying their retirement. OP did not specify if he actually informed his parents about that decision, he might just as well get his satisfaction from the knowledge it won't happen, without even telling the parents. There's also parents who simply can't/won't accept such a choice and not even recognize when you inform them of your choice not to have offspring, they will just go about their ways pretending nothing changed, still expecting cute little babies a couple of years down the line.
  - majewsky 9y ago
    "I don't want to have children." - "Yeah, everyone gets over that phase eventually." - ":|"
Amezarak 9y ago
It's not weird, it's a drive created by a billion years of evolution. When all is said and done, what matters is passing on your genes. It's nice if you can bring up your kids in luxury, but the idea that it's necessary is rather nihilistic. You don't need to be able to afford an Ivy League education for your kids for them to be realized human beings. If you live in a first-world country, and can feed and clothe your kids, and have space for no more than 2 kids/bedroom, what more exactly do you think you need?
- kitsunesoba 9y ago
  >You don't need to be able to afford an Ivy League education for your kids for them to be realized human beings. No, but I do need to be able to afford whatever it takes to give my children a fighting chance at getting a good job and having a good life. I personally do not plan to have children until I have some level of confidence that I can help them get on their feet when becoming productive adults. If the best I can do is kick them out of the house when they turn 18 and tell them, "good luck" I really shouldn't be having kids.
  - Amezarak 9y ago
    That's well and good that you feel that way personally, but the grandparent was suggesting that anyone who doesn't share that opinion could play a role in the movie Idiocracy. But to address your point specifically, respectfully, 'giving your kids a fighting chance at getting a good job and having a good life' doesn't require very much money - pretty much nothing beyond healthy food, clothing, a roof over their head located someplace with decent public schools, and doing your best to instill them with the right character and values. You don't need to live in the Valley and make six figures to have a good life. There are millions of happy people working in productive mid-five-figure jobs across the country right now. Do you really believe that, right now, you couldn't raise a kid who could accomplish that? There are people in awful areas with awful schools, who can't, sure, and real poverty engenders social conditions that make that difficult, but is that true for you, right now? I don't mean to try to convince you to have kids, but I feel like a lot of people believe that if they have kids, they have to provide them with every material advantage possible to compete in a rat race/keep up with the Joneses, and I think that's unhealthy for society and even for individuals - after all, having kids later in life dramatically increases the rates of virtually every adverse medical condition kids can have.