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Don't just look at the big stuff. Look at the everyday environment. I've had -- partially bad luck; partially trying to accomodate bad advice from authority f

Don't just look at the big stuff. Look at the everyday environment. I've had -- partially bad luck; partially trying to accomodate bad advice from authority figures -- a horrible time trying to achieve simply a quiet living space. And a peaceful work environment. It's not "big, dramatic stuff", but it has dragged on me, day in, day out. Jobs used to be more secure. Neighbors, even if they were jerks, didn't have so many instruments with which to be so loud. And neighborhoods tended to have more cohesion, including allies when you needed to deal with the jerks. A lot of people are not being shot at. They are just being chronically, highly stressed. In everyday ways that add up. P.S. Yes, definitely a U.S. perspective. I'd say "first world", but an increasing portion of the U.S. is actually in the process of leaving the first world, if it ever was in it. But, there is a level of social isolation here, and a lack of a sense of allies and someone who "has your back", even if at the same time someone else is trying to "take you out". I guess I can't really compare. I don't have the experience. But, for a lot of people in the U.S., the everyday stuff is plenty stressful. And, it never goes away.

vosper 9y ago
> Neighbors, even if they were jerks, didn't have so many instruments with which to be so loud. This, I think, is under-recognized. People with phones, cheap stereos, and small portable speakers, have made many places that used to be quiet into noisy areas. Worst is when they are all competing with each other to hear their own music.
phil21 9y ago
> But, there is a level of social isolation here, and a lack of a sense of allies and someone who "has your back", even if at the same time someone else is trying to "take you out". This nails it I think - which then creates a myriad of social issues that end up being a feedback loop. I do also strongly feel the US "suburban" style of living is a large driver of this. The more I travel and the more places I experience I've come to the conclusion that density matters. A lot. Even small towns were dense walkable communities in many ways until recently. The forced day to day social interactions naturally built up social cohesion and trust - and those cannot be replaced by scheduled human engagement. The lack of "community" in the US is quite concerning. There are many reasons, but being locked into various boxes (house, car, cube/office) through pretty much 100% of your day has to add up. The natural ebb and flow of a socially vibrant neighborhood just is nonexistent in I'd posit the extreme majority of the US.
- paganel 9y ago
  > The more I travel and the more places I experience I've come to the conclusion that density matters. A lot I live in an 8-storey high building in an Eastern European capital, and about a couple of hours ago my gf called me telling me she had gotten stuck in the elevator. I was still at work, my work is 20 minutes by foot from home, but not 5 minutes pass and my gf calls me again telling me that a neighbor had helped her get out of the elevator. So, now I know that at least one of my neighbors (whom I don't even know) would be kind enough to get me out of a stuck elevator if I'd ever need it. Also, the small talk you usually do from time to time with your neighbors helps a lot when you're living life as a single person, had I lived in a suburb instead of a very dense neighborhood after my divorce I would have had an even worse depression.

vosper 9y ago

> Neighbors, even if they were jerks, didn't have so many instruments with which to be so loud. This, I think, is under-recognized. People with phones, cheap stereos, and small portable speakers, have made many places that used to be quiet into noisy areas. Worst is when they are all competing with each other to hear their own music.

phil21 9y ago

> But, there is a level of social isolation here, and a lack of a sense of allies and someone who "has your back", even if at the same time someone else is trying to "take you out". This nails it I think - which then creates a myriad of social issues that end up being a feedback loop. I do also strongly feel the US "suburban" style of living is a large driver of this. The more I travel and the more places I experience I've come to the conclusion that density matters. A lot. Even small towns were dense walkable communities in many ways until recently. The forced day to day social interactions naturally built up social cohesion and trust - and those cannot be replaced by scheduled human engagement. The lack of "community" in the US is quite concerning. There are many reasons, but being locked into various boxes (house, car, cube/office) through pretty much 100% of your day has to add up. The natural ebb and flow of a socially vibrant neighborhood just is nonexistent in I'd posit the extreme majority of the US.

paganel 9y ago
> The more I travel and the more places I experience I've come to the conclusion that density matters. A lot I live in an 8-storey high building in an Eastern European capital, and about a couple of hours ago my gf called me telling me she had gotten stuck in the elevator. I was still at work, my work is 20 minutes by foot from home, but not 5 minutes pass and my gf calls me again telling me that a neighbor had helped her get out of the elevator. So, now I know that at least one of my neighbors (whom I don't even know) would be kind enough to get me out of a stuck elevator if I'd ever need it. Also, the small talk you usually do from time to time with your neighbors helps a lot when you're living life as a single person, had I lived in a suburb instead of a very dense neighborhood after my divorce I would have had an even worse depression.