This is my own experience with the very miniscule free-solo experience I have and even with trad leading over sport, over top rope. If it's within my abilities

This is my own experience with the very miniscule free-solo experience I have and even with trad leading over sport, over top rope. If it's within my abilities/condition, I get into a much more zen/like zone doing trad leads vs coming up second. Or even leads in a gym. I really don't like falling, so that focuses me up and the world just fades away. It's all managing foot position, burn, effort level, pace, etc. On the other hand, if it's outside my ability/condition and I'm shaky with failing energy... It's the worst experience in the world(overcoming it feels nice though lol).