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--you have about ten to twelve years to connect with your kids and then they turn into teenagers tune you out then turn into adults and build their own lives--

by zeynel1 16y ago

--you have about ten to twelve years to connect with your kids and then they turn into teenagers tune you out then turn into adults and build their own lives-- then why connect with your kids at all -whether or not you connect with them they will --turn into teenagers-- what a scary way of saying it - like a beautiful butterfly turning into a monster - tune you out and then turn into adults --and you turning into a pathetic old man -in their eyes- i think it is better to listen to Paul Graham http://www.paulgraham.com/lies.html http://www.paulgraham.com/lies.html and tell them to skip school and immediately start their own company at the earliest age possible before they are indoctrinated by education to become professional consumers - make mistakes early and often - and forget about this soupy-kitschy-romantic stuff about -connecting- with kritters that -turn into teenagers- who squeeze you for cash to pierce metal studs in their belly buttons-

ryanwaggoner 16y ago
Did I miss the essay where PG advises all kids to skip school and do a startup instead? If so, I'd be pretty disappointed because that's terrible advice for the vast majority of teenagers.
- zeynel1 16y ago
  this is the essay i had in mind http://www.paulgraham.com/mit.html http://www.paulgraham.com/mit.html
  - ryanwaggoner 16y ago
    Did you read it? I get pretty much the exact opposite of "school is stupid, everyone should drop out and start companies!" When we first started Y Combinator we encouraged people to start startups while they were still in college. That's partly because Y Combinator began as a kind of summer program. We've kept the program shape—all of us having dinner together once a week turns out to be a good idea—but we've decided now that the party line should be to tell people to wait till they graduate.
- neurotech1 16y ago
  I believe pg was referring to college, and grad school not high school. Few people can argue that dropping out of PhD school to start a start-up was a bad move for Larry Page & Sergey Brin.
  - loewenskind 16y ago
    Yea... for Larry, Sergey and Bill Gates it turned out really well. For the rest? Must not have turned out well since we haven't even heard of them. Further, in all the examples I can think of they dropped out because they already had a company going or at least had a really strong idea for a company. That's pretty different than dropping out hoping you'll come up with something.
    - Tichy 16y ago
      We hear only about very few people, doesn't mean they are all failures.
      - loewenskind 16y ago
        Ok, I should have said "must not have turned out as well". But would they have done better if they would have stuck with their PhD? My point is just, if you're going to drop out of (any) school you better make sure you have a really good plan because it's a big deal. You're leaving some real advantages on the table so you better be able to justify it.
- ams6110 16y ago
  Might have been the one where he advises high schoolers to treat school like a day job. Not exactly the same thing as dropping out.
ams6110 16y ago
You've been down voted here, but your post touches on some truth. As a parent your prime responsibility is not to "connect with" your kids and be their best friend. It is instead to be a provider, teacher, and role model. This often means doing things that your kids do not like. They may even say "I hate you" or something similar. Kids do not appreciate their parents until they are well into adulthood; I would venture to say that unless and until you have kids yourself you cannot truly appreciate your parents. And what you appreciate is not the milk and cookies and bedtime stories but the actual never ending nonstop no-breaks responsibility that is parenthood.
- pyre 16y ago
  You're missing a few things: 1. There is a range between being a cold, distant disciplinarian and trying to be your child's 'BFF.' 2. Connecting with your kids means forming a relationship with them, it does not define what that relationship is supposed to be. 3. Those first 10-12 years are the more formative years of your child's life. Those are the years where just being present in your child's life can make the greatest impact (vs not being present in your child's life).
- axod 16y ago
  >> "They may even say "I hate you" or something similar. " My son (4) regularly says he's going to go and buy a new daddy. Yesterday I wouldn't let him do something so he took my fathers day card away that he made me! Made me laugh :)

by zeynel1 16y ago

ryanwaggoner 16y ago

Did I miss the essay where PG advises all kids to skip school and do a startup instead? If so, I'd be pretty disappointed because that's terrible advice for the vast majority of teenagers.

zeynel1 16y ago
this is the essay i had in mind http://www.paulgraham.com/mit.html http://www.paulgraham.com/mit.html
- ryanwaggoner 16y ago
  Did you read it? I get pretty much the exact opposite of "school is stupid, everyone should drop out and start companies!" When we first started Y Combinator we encouraged people to start startups while they were still in college. That's partly because Y Combinator began as a kind of summer program. We've kept the program shape—all of us having dinner together once a week turns out to be a good idea—but we've decided now that the party line should be to tell people to wait till they graduate.
neurotech1 16y ago
I believe pg was referring to college, and grad school not high school. Few people can argue that dropping out of PhD school to start a start-up was a bad move for Larry Page & Sergey Brin.
- loewenskind 16y ago
  Yea... for Larry, Sergey and Bill Gates it turned out really well. For the rest? Must not have turned out well since we haven't even heard of them. Further, in all the examples I can think of they dropped out because they already had a company going or at least had a really strong idea for a company. That's pretty different than dropping out hoping you'll come up with something.
  - Tichy 16y ago
    We hear only about very few people, doesn't mean they are all failures.
    - loewenskind 16y ago
      Ok, I should have said "must not have turned out as well". But would they have done better if they would have stuck with their PhD? My point is just, if you're going to drop out of (any) school you better make sure you have a really good plan because it's a big deal. You're leaving some real advantages on the table so you better be able to justify it.
ams6110 16y ago
Might have been the one where he advises high schoolers to treat school like a day job. Not exactly the same thing as dropping out.

ams6110 16y ago

You've been down voted here, but your post touches on some truth. As a parent your prime responsibility is not to "connect with" your kids and be their best friend. It is instead to be a provider, teacher, and role model. This often means doing things that your kids do not like. They may even say "I hate you" or something similar. Kids do not appreciate their parents until they are well into adulthood; I would venture to say that unless and until you have kids yourself you cannot truly appreciate your parents. And what you appreciate is not the milk and cookies and bedtime stories but the actual never ending nonstop no-breaks responsibility that is parenthood.

pyre 16y ago
You're missing a few things: 1. There is a range between being a cold, distant disciplinarian and trying to be your child's 'BFF.' 2. Connecting with your kids means forming a relationship with them, it does not define what that relationship is supposed to be. 3. Those first 10-12 years are the more formative years of your child's life. Those are the years where just being present in your child's life can make the greatest impact (vs not being present in your child's life).
axod 16y ago
>> "They may even say "I hate you" or something similar. " My son (4) regularly says he's going to go and buy a new daddy. Yesterday I wouldn't let him do something so he took my fathers day card away that he made me! Made me laugh :)