4 ms·

Happiness is a mindset, it's not about just external factors. I've met people in 3rd world countries that are almost starving, live under a dictatorship, and ar

by Jemmeh 9y ago

Happiness is a mindset, it's not about just external factors. I've met people in 3rd world countries that are almost starving, live under a dictatorship, and are very ill with no chance to see a doctor and they manage to be grateful for the few things that they do have. They are grateful to have a dog, or to see the sunrise, or have a close community even if everyone's not very well off. You can't always control the world around you, but you can control how you choose to react to it. Tony Robbins is one of my favorite motivational speakers, and he was abused by his mother as a child. It was really bad. It astounds me to hear him talk about it though, he sees the silver lining of it and says, "It sucked. It did. But it taught me to be resourceful. And that's now one of my greatest strengths." (paraphrasing a bit) That's not to say you'll be grinning like a shark every moment of every day. People have bad days and mixed emotions. But overall you can make your general happiness much higher by choice.

dominotw 9y ago
>I've met people in 3rd world countries that are almost starving, live under a dictatorship, and are very ill with no chance to see a doctor and they manage to be grateful for the few things that they do have. I grew up in 3rd world poverty. Sorry but this gross misrepresentation of how things are. Life is unbearable suffering, I won't go into the details here. I think this it is some sort of western fantasy that people with less are somehow more noble, happier, altruistic ect. The human mind is the same everywhere from the poor uneducated in an Indian slum to a billionaire in Hollywood. Our basic nature is shared among all of the humanity.
- Jemmeh 9y ago
  I do understand where you're coming from, but I lived in it for part of my childhood too. It was truly awful in many ways and full of suffering. But my point is that I knew those people directly. I remember the lady who made the effort to walk to the beach and watch the sunrise before she worked on the farm(not far but still). I remember my grandma who despite being rather bitter in many ways, loved her dogs dearly. I remember eating the same fish and rice for days on end with people who still managed to laugh and joke. Life was awful in many ways, but they could still find things to be grateful and happy for. My point is that they could still manage the feeling of gratitude and joy, not that life was peachy. There's people that act like you can never ever be happy if any one bad thing ever happens to you. Don't get me wrong, there were people who were just sad all the time too, and understandably so. But life there was crappy and yet there were still people trying to make the best of the cards that were dealt to them. Like you said peoples minds are similar everywhere, the ability to find happiness in small things can be found everywhere too.
  - jolux 9y ago
    >There's people here in the US that act like you can never ever be happy if any one bad thing ever happens to you. It's not direct but this line of reasoning is getting pretty close to relative privation. Peoples' suffering in the US isn't necessarily less valid because they generally have the basics covered (though not universally), and it sounds a little bit like invalidating their pain to say that you're not allowed to be unhappy if "one bad thing happens to you." Additionally the original post is wrong about money, it does tend to make people happier up until $100k, where it starts plateauing.
    - Jemmeh 9y ago
      I say US simply because that is where I live and what I see daily, I'm sure the idea of "can never be happy after one thing" can happen anywhere and to anyone. I worded that poorly, sorry. I took that out of my post. I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's pain. I'm saying it's a mindset thing to think you can never ever be happy or be grateful because bad things have happened/are happening. I can be grateful for something while simultaneously experiencing pain. I'm grateful for the good meal I had for lunch, but I also sprained my ankle on the way back. One thing does not invalidate the other. Agree with you about the money thing, I've seen a few studies saying that very thing.
      - jolux 9y ago
        Yeah I think that's accurate. Pretty close to Stoicism, you know.
- jolux 9y ago
  >I think this it is some sort of western fantasy that people with less are somehow more noble, happier, altruistic ect. "Noble savage" much?

by Jemmeh 9y ago

dominotw 9y ago

>I've met people in 3rd world countries that are almost starving, live under a dictatorship, and are very ill with no chance to see a doctor and they manage to be grateful for the few things that they do have. I grew up in 3rd world poverty. Sorry but this gross misrepresentation of how things are. Life is unbearable suffering, I won't go into the details here. I think this it is some sort of western fantasy that people with less are somehow more noble, happier, altruistic ect. The human mind is the same everywhere from the poor uneducated in an Indian slum to a billionaire in Hollywood. Our basic nature is shared among all of the humanity.

Jemmeh 9y ago
I do understand where you're coming from, but I lived in it for part of my childhood too. It was truly awful in many ways and full of suffering. But my point is that I knew those people directly. I remember the lady who made the effort to walk to the beach and watch the sunrise before she worked on the farm(not far but still). I remember my grandma who despite being rather bitter in many ways, loved her dogs dearly. I remember eating the same fish and rice for days on end with people who still managed to laugh and joke. Life was awful in many ways, but they could still find things to be grateful and happy for. My point is that they could still manage the feeling of gratitude and joy, not that life was peachy. There's people that act like you can never ever be happy if any one bad thing ever happens to you. Don't get me wrong, there were people who were just sad all the time too, and understandably so. But life there was crappy and yet there were still people trying to make the best of the cards that were dealt to them. Like you said peoples minds are similar everywhere, the ability to find happiness in small things can be found everywhere too.
- jolux 9y ago
  >There's people here in the US that act like you can never ever be happy if any one bad thing ever happens to you. It's not direct but this line of reasoning is getting pretty close to relative privation. Peoples' suffering in the US isn't necessarily less valid because they generally have the basics covered (though not universally), and it sounds a little bit like invalidating their pain to say that you're not allowed to be unhappy if "one bad thing happens to you." Additionally the original post is wrong about money, it does tend to make people happier up until $100k, where it starts plateauing.
  - Jemmeh 9y ago
    I say US simply because that is where I live and what I see daily, I'm sure the idea of "can never be happy after one thing" can happen anywhere and to anyone. I worded that poorly, sorry. I took that out of my post. I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's pain. I'm saying it's a mindset thing to think you can never ever be happy or be grateful because bad things have happened/are happening. I can be grateful for something while simultaneously experiencing pain. I'm grateful for the good meal I had for lunch, but I also sprained my ankle on the way back. One thing does not invalidate the other. Agree with you about the money thing, I've seen a few studies saying that very thing.
    - jolux 9y ago
      Yeah I think that's accurate. Pretty close to Stoicism, you know.
jolux 9y ago
>I think this it is some sort of western fantasy that people with less are somehow more noble, happier, altruistic ect. "Noble savage" much?